a b o u t
Bonus chapter for The Heartbroken Heartbreaker. This is a peek into Seth's mind when his life was falling apart and he was convinced that the best thing to do was to leave, so when his world collapses, he'd be far away enough to keep the people in his heart safe.
a / n :
This is long overdue, and I'm 99% sure that when you guys asked for a chapter told in Seth's POV, you expected a chapter full of fluffy moments and cute conversations, not... this. Trust me, I didn't expect this either, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)
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W E I G H T L E S S
It was a mistake.
He didn't think so at first, when nothing but his curiosity alone fueled his persistence.
Eventually it became clear to him that the whole thing was a mistake, but by then, he was already teetering off the highest point of the roller coaster, just waiting for the sudden, inevitable drop, too late for him to unstrap his safety belt and get off the ride.
The worst part is that even now, he's not so sure he wants to get off.
Not when it meant leaving without her in tow.
He looks at her now, sliding his gaze from the white floor to sneak a glance at her face, wondering why on earth he always feels compelled to help her, or make her laugh, when when she had always been anything but pleasant to him right from the very start.
He can see the worry painted on her face, etched in the dark rings below her eyes, and he feels completely, utterly helpless because he isn't used to not knowing how to erase her worries.
He always found ways to cheer her up, especially when it came to Cedric, but not this time.
This time, there's nothing he can do but look at her, mapping the lines of her face with his tired eyes, tucking the image into another memory to bring once he leaves everything behind.
"You don't have to stay," Kyla suddenly tells him. He almost thinks she heard his thoughts, and he musters a wry smile at the coincidence.
"Yeah," he says, shifting in his seat. "I don't have to. But I want to."
Because what else can he do, when she looks a second away from falling apart? When there's nothing he can do but look at her and hope Cedric gets his shit together before everything collapses over Kyla?
What else is he supposed to do?
She shakes her head, gives him a tired look, and says, "You don't even like Cedric."
His hand reaches for hers almost automatically, his fingers finding hers with a familiarity that calls out to him. He looks down at their joined hands, then lifts his gaze to her eyes. Quietly, he says, "I'm not here for him."
She takes a sharp breath and looks at him, and when their gazes lock, he feels as though something's clawing its way out of his chest, twisting at his insides, urging him to pull her closer and apologize for all the pain he'd put her through so they could go back to the way they were.
She looks at him with wary eyes, like she's afraid to hope, afraid of him, and so he lets go of her hand, drops his gaze and ducks his head.
And now he knows how Cedric must have felt. How difficult it must have been for him to stay away, when all he wanted to do was to stay, and Seth feels like the air had been knocked out of him because he realizes that Cedric will always be a better person than he is.