Chapter One:
Untold Memories



            I stood there, analyzing what she just did. All she does is drink in this house. Never once she has thought about my sister and I. She abandoned us. Her jet black hair no longer had its shine, it was knotted and dirty. Her clothes had holes in it from it being worn too much, cigarette burns made marks on her black blouse, it didn't even bother her. Great, she stopped caring about herself. She really let herself fall into the cracks this time. My mother took another sip of her beer, her tired eyes studying me as I look over her and what she has become. She's getting drunk like usual. She studied me again as my shocked expression hung on my face. "You made Jake leave, after all this time of waiting for him to come back but I know deep down that he's not. I'm pathetic for thinking he will." She quietly said but enough to make it seem like it was harsh. Jake is my father. She blames me for him falling in love with a man and leaving us in this lonely house. Once that kind spirited man left, it released the devil inside of my mother. "You pushed him away." She angrily said, throwing the glass bottle to the wall. The sound was deafening as shattered pieces flew everywhere. Making me flinch as it nearly brushed against my arm, it slowly started bleeding, pain erupted but I shook it off. I need to be strong. Especially for my little sister. "He said he didn't love me anymore." Her words soaked in like poison. Every night she accuses me of the same shit.

She blames me. Every little thing that goes wrong, she always blames me. It doesn't even matter if it's her fault, it will always be mine in her eyes. To her, I'm worthless.

Little Jackie came out, her cheeks stained with tears, telling me that she was crying not too long ago. "Please stop yelling.." She quietly said, more tears threatened, but, she held them back. My heart ached for her. I wish I could hold her and tell her everything will be fine. She was only ten. Ten dammit. Me? I was only fourteen. But I am used to getting treated like this. It's an every day thing. And after awhile you become numb. "Go to your room!" My mom shouted at her, standing up. I stood in front of Jackie, her frightened little body clung to mine. "Riley, I told her to go to her room, now let her go." She muttered through her teeth as her eyes flickered to Jackie, I shook my head no. I could have sworn I saw something dark in her shallow eyes. The rage trapped inside of that hollow body of hers finally broke free.

My mother came running at me. Fists in the air, ready to strike. Her fist landed on my jaw, sending me backwards, a little bit of pain started settling in. Little Jackie hid her face in my shirt, I can hear her softly sobbing. She hated this. I hated this. I can endure the pain, I would endure it to make sure Jackie would be safe. She's my only family now.

"Go Jackie, please?" I asked her, I felt her nod and she took off to her room, looking back at me one more time before disappearing into the hallway. I have to be the one to deal with mom. I didn't want Jackie to hear all the awful things I was about to say. "Get over it, he left," I antagonized, gritting my teeth. The anger caused her to shake violently, it all happened so fast. She pounced on me, as she landed on me, I fell backwards onto the glass coffee table, it shattered. Pieces burned inside of my skin. The blood was starting to flow by then. But I knew deep down there was no stopping her once she gets started. She kept doing her thing. Accusing me. "It's all your fault!" She shouted again, her voice nearly broke my heart in half. Her hits harder than before. "Mom. Please stop! Mom!" My shouts radiated all throughout the house. The pain getting stronger.. I shouted once more..

"... No, mom! Don't! Stop!" I shouted in horror as I nearly jumped from the memory. My skin crawled from even thinking about it. This marked one week of having the same nightmare. "Riley!" Jackie shouted my name as she bursts into my room. Her long jet black hair flowed down her shoulders as her eyes showed panic. She reminded me of my mother, because she had her looks. And me on the other hand looked more like my father. My eyes met her dark green ones. They held sadness. She's sad because of the nightmares I've been having lately. I frowned as I slowly sat up, rubbing the tired out of my eyes. "Nightmares, again?" She asked slowly, her eyes ran over me to make sure that I was alright. I bit my bottom lip as I tried to hold back the tears. Why is it happening again? My big brother, Josh, came running in. "Are you okay, Riley?" He asked worriedly. I nodded as he pulled me into a tight hug. "It's all going to be okay, I promise that you are safe." He whispered as a few tears left his eyes. He's never witnessed my mothers abuse, but how it had taken its toll on me, he understood my pain enough to try and help. I've been to countless trauma therapists, and have taken medication for the paranoia. But nothing worked and I didn't want Josh to keep spending his money on useless things. My brother Josh, he's twenty three, and he's in college. I found out we had a brother through my father. Josh and I at first didn't get along, but later on, I realized that my little sister Jackie and I needed him to survive. He took my sister and I in after that incident. It was three years ago. . . And I know damn well, my mind isn't ready to let it go.

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