Chapter One:
Untold Memories



                    

             

I stood there, conscious of my surroundings, there wasn't a doubt in my mind. I am afraid of her. Not a single muscle moved because of the situation that held me captive. My mind kept analyzing what she just did and has been doing for the longest time. The terror made itself present in the rhythm of my heartbeat. All she does is drink and complain about her miserable life. I doubt she has ever thought about my sister and I and what she is doing to us. She abandoned us a very long time ago even though she's still around. Her jet black hair no longer had its shine, it was knotted and dirty. Her clothes had holes in it from it being worn too much, cigarette burns made marks on her black blouse, it didn't even bother her that she looked like a train wreck.

Great, she stopped caring about herself. She really let herself slip through the cracks this time. My mother took another sip of her beer, her tired eyes scrutinizing me as I look over her and what she has become. The darkness controlled her mind, good parts in her that lingered deep down in her soul was trapped.

She's getting drunk like usual. She studied me again, a shocked expression hung on my face for a little while longer. "You made Jake leave! How dare you!! After all this time of waiting for him to come back but I know deep down that he's not. I am pathetic for thinking he will." She quietly said but enough to make it harsh. Jake is my father. She blames me for him falling in love with a man and leaving us in this lonely house. Him and I were so close and she ruined that. Once that kind spirited man left, it released the devil inside of my mother. "You pushed him away." She angrily said, throwing the glass bottle to the wall right beside me. The sound was deafening as shattered pieces flew everywhere. Making me flinch as it nearly brushed the side of my arm, it slowly started bleeding, pain erupted but I shook it off. I need to be strong. Especially for my little sister. "He said he didn't love me anymore." She spat the words at me, but what hurt the most is that it soaked in like poison. Every night she accuses me of the same shit. She just won't understand that you can't pick and choose who you fall in love with.

She blames me. Every little thing that goes wrong, she always blames me. It doesn't even matter if it's her fault, it will always be mine in her eyes. To her, I am worthless, a foolish kid who messes everything up. The shame constantly eats at me every chance it gets.

Little Jackie came out, her cheeks stained with tears, indicating that she was crying not too long ago. "Please stop yelling.." She quietly said, more tears threatened, but, she held them back. My heart ached for her. I wish I could hold her and tell her that everything will be fine. She was only ten, she doesn't deserve any of this. I was only fourteen but I am used to getting treated this way. It is an every day thing. And after awhile you just become numb to it. "Go to your room!" My mom shouted at her, standing up. She almost towered over us, looking intimidating to Jackie more than to me. I stood in front of Jackie, protecting her. Her frightened little body clung to mine as she gripped my shirt as hard as she could and hid her face in my back. "Riley, I told her to go to her room, now let her go." She muttered through her teeth as her eyes flickered to Jackie, I shook my head no, disobeying her commands. I could have sworn I saw something dark in her shallow eyes. The rage trapped inside of that hollow body of hers finally broke free.

My mother came running at me. Fists in the air, ready to strike. Her fist landed on my jaw, sending me backwards, a small amount of pain started settling in. Little Jackie continued to hide her face in my shirt, I can hear her softly sobbing by this point. She hated this. I hated this. I can endure the pain, I would endure it to make sure Jackie would be safe. I would never let anything like this happen to her. She's my only family now.

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