Chapter 5

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Samson

I wake up this morning excited for my appointment with Robin. I have so much to tell her. I get up quickly and get ready for the day. On my way out, I stop and grab a granola bar to tide me over until I get out of therapy today.

Twenty-minutes later, I pull up to her office and walk inside. When I get to her office door, I realize I'm whistling. I smile and shake my head opening the door. "Hi Samson. How are you today?"

"I'm doing great. How are you Robin?" I ask. We take our places sitting across from each other and getting comfortable. "I'm doing great myself. Wow! You are like a different person from last week. What happened?" She asks. I tell her about my week and she looks impressed.

"What about this woman?" She asks zooming right in on Carmen. "Something about her draws me to her. But I keep telling myself that she's only been gone for six months, I can't feel that way about someone else so soon." I answer.

"What about her that draws you?"

"It was something in her eyes. They told me that she understood and that everything will be alright." I shift around nervously. "I can't date anyone right now."

"Let me guess. You're feeling guilty that you're alive and having feelings and she's not here." She guesses correctly. I look down, playing with my fingers. "I wish every day that it was me who died and not her. I couldn't fathom looking forward to living life again and here I am, looking forward to every day. I'm planning my days now. I'm excited for what's to come. She will never feel that again and my son will never had the chance to do it. Of course I feel guilty."

"Samson, we talked about this already. There's a reason this has happened. There's a reason for everything. Just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean that it isn't there. What it comes down to is that you're here and they aren't unfortunately and you can't give up on life because of that. You have to move on, and if your wife was here, she would tell you the same. Think about what she would want. She would want you to live a happy life and move on." She states.

I nod slowly, "Thanks Robin. It just gets to me sometimes." We spend the rest of the time talking about things that I need to do like finalizing things with the lawyer and going through her things. Robin suggests that I could donate her things to someone in need and I agree. I'm just not quite ready to go through her things and give them away just yet.

After I leave my appointment, I meet Brock and his wife for brunch at a place where we used to always meet when Chloe was alive. I walk in the door and it brings some bittersweet memories. They are waiting for me when I walk inside. Melanie, Brock's wife walks straight over to me and gives me a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm doing fine. It's kind of hard to be here and she's not here to enjoy it with me." I tell her. "I understand. We'll just make more memories, okay?" She asks rubbing my back. I nod and Brock walks over and shakes my hand. "Just come from an appointment?"

"Yep. It's kind of hard right now because I just got finished talking about how she's not here anymore and now we are in one of her favorite restaurants about to have lunch." I sigh heavily.

"We'll talk about the good times when we used to go out and do things. That should make you feel better." Melanie says. "Okay. I would like that." I tell her as the hostess comes by to show us to our seats.

After we're seated, Melanie asks, "So Brock tells me that you saw someone who peaked your interest." I look over at Brock and he nods at me. "We met someone at the bar we went to the other night. I felt a connection to her and it was weird. I told Brock that it's too early for me to be interested in someone else. She's only been gone for six months." I tell her.

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