Chapter 20 - Deprivation

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∞ 20 ∞

DEPRIVATION


On the morning of the 29th the odd Muggle girl would be involved in an unusual drama of her own...

It was still very dark out. Valentina hadn't been able to sleep the night before. She was worried sick about her goat Lysander. She was also terrified of Jerremee coming back. Jerremee had been acting so unhinged in the lead up to his departure that the notion had taken root in her mind that he might decide to come back and hurt her physically, or even kill her because he was so sick in the head. She imagined that he might convince himself her not going back to him was a perfectly justifiable reason to do such a thing in order to save himself from the shame, because his little boy's ego hadn't grown into manhood along with his body and the immature ego wouldn't allow him to accept he was being left without having yet secured an appropriate replacement. She also imagined that because she had proof he was a deviant, rather than the saint-like character he pretended to be (and might tell people) with his warped sense of reason he might view getting rid of her as an acceptable solution. It wouldn't occur to him simply sorting himself out was an option. (It also wouldn't occur to him that there were scores of people in his past that already knew what he was really like without her having to tell anyone.)

He would go on the news lamenting the loss of 'HIS GIRLFRIEND, his queen, the light of his life!' while crying his dry eyes out and gaining sympathy. (He would of course be very excited at the prospect of being on television and meeting a new girlfriend through all of the publicity.) He would implore the public for 'any information, any information at all!' so that the 'burglar' who committed the most heinous crime could be 'brought to justice' so that he could at least rest a little easier knowing the evil murderer had been 'brought to justice!' Someone had to be 'brought to justice!'... It was just the sort of situation that would make him feel quite important (and the fact that he committed a mortal sin? Well, he'd know it was wrong, but "doesn't everyone have a few small failings? Doesn't everyone do naughty little things now and again? Nobody's perfect," he'd say looking sheepish with his shoulders hunched up and smearing his hair in front of his eyes. That is until one of the other Jerremees in his head would decide it was far less burdensome simply to convince 'himselves' that he hadn't actually done it... She kept hearing sounds: Was that Lysander choking?! Was that a car door?!

She went to bed very late and laid there awake most nights worrying, usually unable to fall asleep properly until 6am or 7am at the earliest, after Martin Martin's dog finally stopped barking, then slept till 10 or 11. But on this day, she rose at dawn because she couldn't sleep thinking about Lysander and the creep.

She hadn't had a full night's peaceful sleep in two and a half years, but the past few weeks had been particularly tough: Lysander's illness and waning health was crushing. She had recipes for special holistic feeds and the vet left a variety of oral emulsions, all of which she tried in vain to get Lysander to swallow. He had twice daily injections, which to his credit, the poor thing accepted without complaint. The vet had come several times with various expensive scanner machines they ordinarily used on racehorses. Valentina couldn't help but feel responsible that she should be doing more to help him. He looked so ill and it seemed like nothing she did helped to improve his condition. She felt guilty that she didn't have him put down to end his suffering, but then thought it was wrong to put him down. Who was she to decide that? She had been dreadfully ill when she was a kid and nobody had put her down! He was so weak. She wished Lysander could communicate with her, to tell her what to do. She worried that he would fall over in some terrible position, or tragically fall head first into his water bucket and drown while she wasn't there. As confirmation of her worry, every time she left for more than a little bit, something bad DID happen. The only thing she could think to do was stay with him all the time.

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