wanted (phan) || book #3

twelve

(a/n: I really fucking love this art by claricorn ,, i literally went up to my parents and friends showing them this)

tw// very small mention of self harm

P H I L ' S P O V

"They must've tracked us," Oliver explained as the five us trailed down the damp concrete.   

"But where?" Layla questioned.

I looked over at Dan, his hands in his pockets. "They took your phone when they kidnapped you, correct?" I asked.

Dan's eyes went wide.

"Bingo!" Oliver chuckled. "I'll do the honors." Within seconds, Oli had snatched the device from Dan's pocket and threw it the ground.

"I had nobody to text anyway," Dan shrugged, and Alex giggled.

"That doesn't make sense," Layla began. "If they've been tracking him the whole time, why don't they just strike?"

"Because that's too easy, and Wirrow never liked easy. They're following his footsteps. It's obvious that they're waiting for us to make the first move, rather than them," I explained.

"Well are we going to?" Alex blinked.

I didn't respond, and we kept walking.

✗

"Wait, stop."

We all froze at the sound of Oliver's voice, flashlight in his hand.

"What is it?" I asked in a hushed whisper, freezing my feet in the mud.

"Footsteps," he pointed out, trailing the light to follow a line of footsteps, indicating someone had just walked.

"And blood," Layla added in, crouching down and swiping her finger across red liquid. "That's definitely the guy we're looking for."

"Ma-" Alex began to call out, but Dan slapped a hand over their mouth.

"We don't know who else is out there," Dan snarled under his breath to them. Alex nodded and Dan removed his hand, and we then followed the footsteps. Crying soon filled my ears and I furrowed my eyebrows, pausing.

"Matthew?" I whispered.

"Who's there?" I heard, the figure standing up and sniffling. "Look if you want to hurt me, go ahead, I've got nothing now."

I decided it was enough of the hiding and curled my fingers, gesturing for the group to move along. We trailed over and Matthew turned, revealing his tear-streaked face and bruised, bleeding skin. As soon as he noticed me he ran forward, throwing himself into my arms.

I flinched at first but reacted, wrapping my arms around him.

"You're okay now," I whispered to the crying boy in my arms. He clutched onto my shirt tightly. "Nobody's gonna hurt you."

"Maybe not me," he spoke, his voice muffled by my shirt. Then he pulled away, looking me dead in the eyes. "But they hurt her."

"Who?" Layla cut in.

"My sister. They killed her, Phil. As soon as they found out I helped you they snapped her neck. She's dead. My sister is dead."

I didn't reply, only hugged him tighter, and we all went back to the hotel. Matthew immediately dropped to the carpet, holding himself. Oliver walked over, setting his hands on the boy's knees reassuringly.

"I lost my sister too, you know," Oli began, a sad smile on his face. Matthew looked up at him, his body trembling. "She was in a car, and I texted her to check up on her. I should've known better, since my sister had her eyes glued to the phone. But I texted her anyway, and she decided to pull out her phone. Died in a car crash."

"Oli. . ." Alex trailed off, sitting down on the edge of the bed to sigh.

"I blamed myself for years. Hell, sometimes I still have nightmares about it. I did things to myself, things that I didn't deserve. I'd hurt myself, and you know where that ended me?"

"Where?" Matthew squeaked out, clutching his knees to his chest.

"A psychiatric ward. All because I was mean to myself and others. And now I'm out. I'm free. But not only am I physically free, but I feel like I'm emotionally free too. Because forgiving others is good, but forgiving yourself is a whole different story. Matthew, this is not your fault. I was doing the same thing you did- I was trying to take care of everyone at once. My sister had just gotten out of a bad break-up so I wanted to make sure she was alright. With you, Dan was dying and you saved his life. You were doing the right thing."

"Then why did this happen to me?"

"The world is ugly, my friend. Think of it like a bush of dead roses, and you're the last one still alive. You're the last one keeping the bush from being cut down. You were only being a good person, and there is nothing wrong with that. So trust me when I tell you that this was not your fault."

"But I miss her so much, and it hurts."

Oliver exhaled, reaching forward and ruffling his hair. "I miss my sister, too. But missing people doesn't always bring them back, no matter how much we want them to."

"I hate to kill the moment, but we have to go- now. They know where we are, and they'll go after Matthew."

Matthew nodded and Oliver stood, reaching his hand out to help the sad boy under him. He pulled Matthew up and I looked over at Oli, nodding once. He simply waved me off, indicating that it was no problem.

So we packed up and headed out, finding another hotel.

✗

We ended up finding a small abandoned house on the way, staying there instead. After chowing down on (probably expired) canned food, I followed Matthew upstairs to help him to bed. He climbed in and I pulled the covers up, switching off the lights.

"Thank you, Phil," he mumbled sleepily. I grinned to myself.

"No problem, buddy," I yawned, leaning down and patting his head. A small smile fell upon his face and I shut the door, the smile immediately wiping off my face as I trudged to the empty bedroom and got into my pajamas. I climbed into bed and curled up, sighing.

"What's wrong?" I heard Dan, and I looked up to see him trailing into the room in a old shirt and soft pajama pants. His hair was in curls on his face, indicating he just showered and hadn't straightened his hair.

"It's stupid," I responded. Dan rolled his eyes, laying down next to me and intertwining our fingers lazily. I exhaled. "I just wish I got to have. . ."

"A kid?" Dan questioned. I nodded. He sat up to lay his head on my stomach, his feet hanging over the bed from his sideways position.

"Me too. You know, when I was younger I would use stuffed animals and treat them like my own kids. I would tell my parents' friends that I would be a great dad someday," he explained, a content lopsided smile on his lips. I looked down at him.

"I bet you would be."

"I bet you would be, too," he replied, the smile faltering. "Phil, if we make it out of this, can you see us having a family together?"

"Of course, Dan, you know that. I love you."

Dan turned on his side, keeping his head on my tummy, his body rising and falling with mine. "I love you too."

And like that we fell asleep, our hands clasped tightly as if it'd be the last time we'd touch.