"I thought you were going to quit." I glance behind me to see Adam leaning against the open doorway.
I shake the ashes off my cigarette. "So did I."
He comes up beside me onto the balcony and touches my arm. "Don't you need a jacket?"
"I'm fine," I respond, taking a deep drag. It's been a week since I got out of the hospital, and Adam is struggling to stay off OxyContin. When I found out, I'd been heartbroken. His drugs, they drove a wedge between us. He hadn't been using enough to get him completely addicted again, but that didn't mean that the affects weren't bad. With him a wreck, I'd often found myself in the bathroom, staring at the two shiny blades in my hand. I didn't do anything, but I could feel myself teetering on the edge of sanity, ready to fall into darkness.
"Okay," he replies softly, dropping his hand. I feel his eyes studying my face, and I bite my lip. "Are you okay?"
"I'd like to ask you the same thing," I respond, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. We've resumed the tour, and everything should be back to the way it was, but it's not.
"I miss you," he whispers, his voice barely audible.
"I miss you, too," I say, my voice quivering. He lets out a small breath, and I take another drag.
"I'm sorry, Eve," he says after a moment, making me jump in surprise. I nod slowly, processing his words. He'd never apologized or explained, so he has my attention now. "When you were in the hospital, I just...I couldn't take the pain anymore," he admits, his voice breaking. I feel tears build in my eyes, and I blink them away rapidly. "I know I don't deserve your trust, but please don't shut down like this. I need you," he begs, and I look at him. His blue eyes are glistening with tears, and he bites his lip nervously, waiting for my reaction. I feel a tear trail down my cheek, and he reaches forward to brush it away. I don't pull away, letting him touch my face and keep his hand there.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. His face falls, and I realize he's taking it the wrong way. "No! I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for shutting down. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," I say quickly, my voice going high and panicky. Suddenly, he pulls me into his arms, and I wrap my arms around him tightly. My chest heaves, and he strokes my hair soothingly as I breathe in his familiar scent.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, kissing the top of my head. I let a tear slip down my face and close my eyes tightly.
"I'm sorry," I repeat, my voice breaking.
His voice is comforting as he says, "It's okay. We're okay."
The baby might be dead, but they made up so y'all can love me again
I wanted to drag it out more bc conflict makes a story better, but I don't like them not being cute together + I'm out of money to buy out all the bazookas and shit
YOU ARE READING
The Only Hope For Me Is You | Adam GontierFanfiction
Felicity and Adam both have their demons. Will they escape their hells, or will they remain caged inside forever? Warning: strong language and a whole lot depressing and triggering shit (self-harm etc.) as well as drug abuse, so read at your own ris...