Sisi / Season 1

12⁒

m&ms - tei shi

"So my brother is coming," I say.

The small electric buzz that the toaster chants criss-crosses the silence. Étienne has a shirt on, thank God. I'm too close to seeing him as a man these days. A man that can slam me against the wall and have his wretched way with me, while making me beg for more. On all fours, of course. It's a bit frightening. My imagination, that is. Not so much the possibility.

Étienne turns to look at me. His hair is long now and hides his ears. Though, I'm sure he heard me. I have large lips, but a little voice. I'm sure he heard me.

"Oh," he sighs, "I didn't know you had a brother."

I plan on saying my infamous line, 'you don't know anything about me'. But I just can't afford to sound enticing, because when a guy plays basketball and goes to the gym every single day... you just can't afford to.

"Um, yeah," I sigh, too, "So, yeah."

"Cool," he nods, reaching for Philadelphia cream cheese.

He didn't hear me.

"He's—" I start and stop.

Étienne spins around and takes a bite out of his bread.

He stuffs his mouth with more carbs. Carbs that he'll work out into muscle mass. Muscle mass that'll shock me later. My mind won't stop racing, raging.

His phone beeps and he analyzes it.

I start again, regrouping my thoughts, "Anyway, I'm going to school."

I walk out.

Last night, this boy got wasted. I, unfortunately, was the recipient of a few drunk texts. I know he drinks and parties, but nothing like that. By the time he got home, God himself was asleep. I had to get up and help him wash his own face. He vomited a bit, half in the tub, half in the toilet. That's when I hypothesized that he mixed with some drugs or something, because the world knows Étienne can hold his liquor. He's French-Canadian after all. Yes, that's a thing, especially where I live.

He was sweaty all night. I lectured him, even though he was out cold.

Then, 5 in the morning, he wakes up, showers, and decides it's okay to spoon.

Too tired to object, I put up with his Irish Spring scent and cold nose. We started talking about our philosophies.

·•●⦁·

I watch the bunch of boys smoking and slandering. They hang around those picnic tables by the campus grass. It's wet and muddy.

I walk up the stone steps to the N building. I like it because it's fairly new and renovated. On the third floor the doors are yellow. I meet up with my classmates for a chat on due dates.

"I finished my paper early," I tell Atasha.

"I'm going to finish it tonight."

"I'm ready for the holidays."

"I know, right. I'm spending it with my boyfriend. I call my parents and they're like, 'oh, we're going to the Bahamas'. I'm like okay, what about me?" she laughs.

"Parents are funny. It's like when you go to college, they forget you're their kids," I nod, in total relation to her story.

"I wish I were in the Bahamas right now."

"If my boss gives me some kind of bonus. You know where I'll be."

"Target closed down, so I've been out of a job for a while."