Tumblr Chats/Text Posts Part 2!

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So I'm procrastinating don't judge me and I'll get round to doing other requests soon but a lot of people wanted more of these so yes I'll be a wonderful person and bend to your will okay then. 

*Oh not trying to like get more followers or anything but my url for tumblr is: the-book-avenger and if you message me and tell me you're from Wattpad I'll follow you back :) Be warned though I'm a fandom blog so yeah* :) 

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mom: why are you laughing alone in your room

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yes ur allowed to have other friends u just have to love me more

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if on the first day of school a kid says “present" instead of “here" during attendance u know they gon be an annoying lil sh*t bag

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real pain is having to wash your hair after a good hair day

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how about instead of david cameron censoring porn from the internet he censors himself from our lives

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i wanna be able to turn invisible. not because i could spy on hot naked ppl or sneak into disneyland but because i could hide in a locker room and repeatedly shut someones locker door and then appear and shout WAZOWSKI at them

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you may have a hot body but i have a hot bucket of fried chicken so whos the real winner here

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"i still havent gotten a job"
“just apply everywhere seriously its what i did"
WOW
THANK YOU I HAD NOT EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT DOING THAT
YOU ARE ISAAC F*CKING NEWTON
GOD BLESS YOU

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can i sell my feelings on ebay i don’t want them anymore

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MY NEIGHBOR AND HER BOYFRIEND ARE OUTSIDE HAVING SEX ON HER CAR

I TRIED TO TAKE A PICTURE AND THE FLASH WENT OFF ABORT MISSION ABORT ABORT

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dont talk to me when i have headphones on

“but u always have headphones on”

well look who’s catching on

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you know when you accidentally close an important tab and you feel like you dropped a baby off a cliff

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 my sister isn’t talking 2 me bc earlier she was doing her homework and she was like ‘god i need somewhere flat to write’ and i said ‘how about your chest’ 

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i’m going to name my daughter casserole so then she’ll get the nickname cass and people will be like “oh, cass is short for cassandra, right?” and she will have to explain to them her name is casserole

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TIM BURTON: Hey Johnny, I have this new mov-...

JOHNNY DEPP: Yes.

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if no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be

#new life motto

i think this will be my graduation quote

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