The 34th week

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Chapter twenty: The 34th week

"What are you going to do?" Jolene was staring at me as serious as I have I ever seen her.

"I don't know, I mean I wanted him to know right?" We were sitting in Dr. Lee's office awaiting my 34th week checkup.

"Yeah Charlie, you did, and you should want him to know. Whatever happens he's still the baby's father, even if he is a wanker."

"Yeah." I grab my head with my hands and press as hard as I can, trying to alleviate some of the pressure in my brain. "If he had come back earlier it would have been different. Everything is so screwed up now."

Michael had gone to stay with David after his eventful return. He had spent the last two weeks sending more emails, texts, phone calls and flowers than he had our entire relationship. From the messages Michael left I could tell David hadn't told him what had happened, and from David's silence I was wondering myself if I had just imagined the whole thing.

"Charlie, you need to think of yourself. Screw Michael." Jolene spat out Michael's name like it tasted foul.

"What about David?" I whispered.

"It's still your decision Charlie, David will just have to live with whatever you decide. " Jolene gave me a sympathetic look that only she could get away with.

"Yeah." I dropped my head under the weight of Jolene's gaze. I felt like I was whining. I had the father of my child back and more importantly, he wanted to be a part of our lives. Yet I couldn't get David out of my head.

"Misses Boyd?" I saw Susie's huge blue orbs pop up from behind the receptionist desk. She quickly scanned the room before focusing back on me. "Dr. Lee will see you now."

"It's time to check on your bun Charlie; you can worry about this later."Jolene grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight before we walk through the large silver doors back to an awaiting room.

I jump up automatically on the large table and lay down, staring at the ceiling.

"Did you know what went through my mind the first day we found out about the baby?"

"The day I took you the ER and that porker of a nurse wouldn't let me enter?" Jolene is not the forgiving or forgetful kind.

I giggle, "Yeah. I remember looking at the walls and wondering why all the walls are always so white? I thought 'this must be what it looks like right before you die'."

"Well that's not morbid." Jolene's response dripped with sarcasm.

"It wasn't really meant to be morbid; I think it was just a lot going on at that time. You end up thinking of so many other things just to keep your mind off the obvious."

"Which was?" Jolene was flipping through a magazine and I could tell she was only half listening to me.

"The destruction of my life at the time." I remembered David's face the day he found me curled up on the bed.

"That's a wee bit dramatic don't you think Charlie."

"No! I really felt totally destroyed. Like my life would never be the same, like I would never feel that same happiness. It was like my life had just seized---- to exist"

"No, you're right, not dramatic at all." Jolene muttered under her breath.

"But I think I needed that, because I went to sleep every night only dreaming of one thing, becoming Mrs. Charlotte King! Wife of the handsome and successful Michael King."

"And now your majesty?"

"Now, well, now my days are consumed with work and getting promoted. My nights are spent preparing for the baby, and now I just dream of being a mom and..." my voice trailed off.

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