44 Sanity

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  After the tragic death of Taegeuk , we burried her in a less horrible place. I felt sad , that we can't even bury her in a beautiful, nice place , except to bury her in this hell world.

Everything was unfair. Whenever people say that their life is really unfair and the others have fair life , well it's life. That's why when people's life is unfair and unbalanced ; therefore , it is still fair.

" I pity him so much " Chaerin unnie standing beside me

I sighed and closed my eyes , still remembering the scene " I honestly do , too " Somehow , I felt guilty for Taehyung. I know how he felt. That one precious family member that's left in him suddenly dies in a shocking and in a tragic way. It was too much.

" It wasn't his fault , it was ours " Just by hearing this , I know it that Taehyung isn't going to behave and act well at this moment. He's hurt. We all are , but his was just different from ours.

I left the cottage and decided to visit Taehyung , who was still sulking while his arms wrapped around his knees , his head hung low. I can see it in him , that he's having a hard time , and as a friend , it hurt me.

" You shouldn't let your guard down , it's dangerous " having a seat next to him , thinking about the chances of creatures that might eat us and kill us on the spot.

" I don't care " he mumbled , still not showing his face

" She's in a better place right now , believe me " playing with the dead brown leaves as it flew up in the air and made a spiral loop , just what I've wanted and demanded with my own brain and ability. Too bad there's no flower that I can play and make some decor with it.

" How did you manage it " finally lifting his face. His eyes , obviously swollen from all the crying. It reminded of me , my life before. As if there's a big mirror between us two , as it indicates my past and present right now.

He looks miserable as I was before , definitely broken inside. His red swollen eyes , from all of his crying. It was what happened to me before , those rubbish pasts of mine. I was indeed broken before , and it looks like that he's broken now , too.

" Manage what? " as I looked up to the leaves that's still flying and levitating off the ground " You mean , this? "

" No , this pain " he didn't even bothered to shake his head , just to deny. He was totally out of it. Hurt , to be exact.

The leaves dropped and swayed to the ground as I wasn't controling them anymore " I didn't " reminscing all the past now , all my ugly and miserable past and memories.

" you didn't? " his attention and gaze turning towards me " Then how? " his consciousness growing big bit by bit " Then how are you still sane the whole time? " That's right , how am I still sane?

Even though after my father's death , it still re-occured me , as if there was still a replay button in my head. It was still repeating the same scene , how my father died in that old house.

I didn't loved or liked my father that much after those harsh beatings that I get from him , but after all , he was still my father , so it still hurt. I still do remember those times when he used to take care for me when I was still a kid , even though it was just a tiny bit of care that he gave to me , but after all , I still felt his sincerity.

" I don't even know why I'm still living and breathing air like this " I admitted " after all the troubles that I've been through , it's been hell for me , until now. " never ending hell , I thought.

" I guess , you just have to keep on living " my eyes landed on him , as he was staring into my eyes as well. As if he was going to break down and shatter into broken pieces again , but he didn't.

" Are you mad? " talking about the people back in there

" I am , actually " he truthfully answered

" How could they? " his fist turning into a stone " Why? " as he kept on throwing questions to himself , which he can't answer all by himself.

I placed my hand on his shoulder " Taehyung- " he stood up , and as I can see , his starting to break down again

" She was just a kid! " he's losing it , he's losing his control and going insane " And they didn't even do anything! " his deep voice roaring in anger.

" Taehyung... " seeing him venting like this was hurting me, espeecially when he's in front of me.

" Why didn't they- " taking him by the arm as I hug him , thinking that it would calm him.

" Calm down " rubbing his back " Let it all out on me " his chin on my shoulder , as I felt a drop of tears that came down from his eyes.

" That's right , let it all out " calming him down , as it was working on him.

" It hurts " as he was letting it all out , and he was never tired of it. " Why is it like this " trying to complain like a kid " Why " while I was just rubbing his back and hummed at all his remarks.

" Hyerin- ah " he called out

" Hm? " raising a brow , when he suddenly called out my name.

" Goodbye "

I was startled at a moment , thinking why he would say the word ' Goodbye ' out of the blues , but then , just when he said the word , I felt a wet sensation around my stomach.

I pulled away from him and saw myself wet in blood , red blood around my stomach area , but it took me some moment to realize what was happening. I wasn't the one who's bleeding , it was Taehyung.

" No! " as he almost fell to the ground and caught him immediately , laying him on my lap.

" Pabo! " immediately taking off the knife that was in his stomach , adding some pressure on his wound to make the bleeding stop.

He coughed up some blood and laughed " Why! " tears flowing down " Pabo , Pabo , Pabo! " brushing off his hair strands away from his forehead.

" Let me die , Hyerin " he pleaded

I shook my head vigorously " I will not let you die , not you " Imagining that I've lost many people from me already , and I wouldn't let him die , not like this. This is suicide , I said in my mind.

I placed Taehyung on my back and run as fast as I can , since I didn't feel any weight on me , since I used my ability. He was struggling to let go , but my grip just tightened on him.

" I will not lose you " I murmured

" Hyerin! " Jimin was the one who've noticed first , as he came rushing towards me " What happened? " his eyes averting towards Taehyung whose mouth is full of blood from his injury.

" Put him in! " as I hurriedly went inside and lay him down on the floor

" First aid kit! " urging to someone get the First Aid Kit " Hurry! " Jin appearing first as he was holding the First Aid Kit

" Thanks " hurriedly getting the Kit from him , as I lifted Taehyung's shirt up , cleaning his wound first.

" Is he still breathing? " Suga placing a finger to his nose to check his breathing

" Faintly breathing " he said

" I'll do it " Chaerin unnie volunteered " Don't worry , I used to work in the lab , right? "

I raised a brow " But that's different , you're a scientist or a researcher , how would you do the operation? "

"Trust me on this " she winked , as she moved me aside. Jimin caught me when Chaerin unnie pushed me aside , as I almost fell sidewards. Jimin grinned on me once he caught me , as I slapped his hands away from my waist , where he caught me.

" This is serious , Jimin " glaring at him , while he just pouted.

 © jpexotic, schaenel_12

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