Little Fucker

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It's been more than a month since Adam and I first had coitus, and I'm starting to get sick, which makes me sick to my stomach, thus making me more sick.
"Adam," I groan, clutching my stomach as I come out of the bathroom.
"Again?"
"Yes. And I'm fucking late," I mutter angrily.
"Late?" he asks cluelessly.
"My period?"
"Oh shit."
"Exactly," I groan. "What if I'm fucking pregnant?" I fall onto the bed, and Adam brushes my hair out of my face.
"Well. You could take the test?" he replies, leaning over me and looking into my eyes.
"I don't want to be pregnant," I say softly. "How can I handle another human bean if I can't handle myself?"
"Human bean?"
"Shut up. You've known me long enough to know I say weird shit," I laugh.
"Okay okay," he chuckles. "Besides, you'd be a great mom."
"Would I really?" I lift my arm, pulling down my sleeve to show him my scars.
"You haven't done it in more than a month," he points out. "You're strong, Eve."
"Am I?" I say softly, dropping my arm and looking up at the ceiling.
"You are. And if there is a little fucker in there," he pokes my stomach for emphasis. "We'll take care of it together."
"I don't want a little fucker in there," I whine, making him smile.
"Do you want a big fucker?"
"You know what I mean!" I laugh, smacking his arm playfully.
"I know I know. But seriously. Do you want to take the test?"
"I guess. But I'm scared," I reply, biting my lip.
"Would you rather keep wondering or find out in one fell swoop?"
"One fell swoop," I repeat, raising an eyebrow at him.
"What am I supposed to say?" He grins, making a face.
"Okay okay. I guess I can take the test to see if there really is a fucker inside me," I laugh, relaxing a bit.
"Want to go now?"
"Yeah. I think so."

A/N
Coitus. Human bean. Little fucker. Big fucker.
Wtf is wrong with me
Hope y'all laughed tho lmaooooo
AND LIKE ARE WE GONNA HAVE AN ADAM AND EVE BABY LIKE WHAAAAAAAT
first Sheldon af with coitus then the Leonard whaaaaaat? Like wtf Big Bang Theory as fucking fuck

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