Chapter 2

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            I enter my house running to the kitchen as fast as I can. I dig into the goodies I've just got and immediately start making myself an omelet. I make it just how I like. Adding garlic tomatoes and cheese to it! The smell of the cooked omelet amplifies my hunger. I switch off the stove and take the omelet on a plate and finish it in record time. Well, you must have guessed that I go totally crazy when it comes to food. Yeah. I can't control my hunger. At all.

       It was 5.00 in the evening when I came out from my shower. The self-defense class makes me all sweaty and I hate it. Had it not been for my hungry stomach, the first thing I would have done after coming back was take a nice hot shower. I get dressed in a simple blue tee and a white pajama since I have nowhere to go for the rest of the day. School doesn't start until Monday and its still Saturday today. I lay down on my bed, thinking about nothing in particular.

        Suddenly my phone beeps indicating I have a text message. I pick it up and view the message. My eyes widen in shock. No. This couldn't be him. I blink and rub my eyes again, wishing that it was an illusion I was seeing and not the actual reality. But I wasn't that lucky. The message clearly read

"Hey baby cakes, how are you doing?"
-Chase

        Babycakes. Chase Anderson. Yeah the same Chase who I thought was the love of my life. Who I thought was my soulmate and that he would always be with me. But no! He was a douchebag. A total player. Weeks after my parents accident I found him cheating on me with one of the freshmen girls of my own freaking school. I couldn't believe it. He was there with me all the time.  All the sleepless nights in the hospital he stood by me, assuring me, caring for me, saying that he was there for me. But he broke all his promises. I later discovered that he had been dating that girl for about 7 months then. To say I was shattered would be an understatement. I just lost all the control I had gained. It began all over again.  All the pain the cries, the tears, the agony. Everything.

         And this time I was bearing it all alone. Uncle had gone back to his home in Georgia and Chase was the reason I was crying this time. Dad saw my condition and gave me whatever little comfort he could. "Its okay baby girl, it's gonna be fine." Even as he said these words, it seemed he himself was not convinced. It was as if he was saying these words to himself. Assuring himself that mom was gonna be fine. As if he didn't know I just got cheated on. As if he didn't realize that my heart was broken and stomped over again and again.


After I  broke up with Chase he began all the shitty drama of being sorry. Hah. Sorry, my foot! Nothing could justify what he did. Nothing. He flooded me with a thousand text messages saying he was really sorry and wanted me to get back with him together. Haha.  As if that was gonna happen. Ever. Ironically enough, even that girl came to know after me that he was cheating her and immediately broke up with him. He called me almost every single hour of the day. Soon enough I was soo tired of his drama that I just changed my number. I warned each of my friends not  to give him my number. Fortunately at least my friends were not backstabbers and did exactly as I said.

         After a couple of days I came to know that Chase was shifting to London with his parents. The relief I felt at that time was a change in my constant ongoing agony. I forgot about him. It took me months just to stop myself from thinking about him when I went to school or when I watched a scary movie or when I went for long walks all by myself. Because all of this brought back memories. Memories of him. Memories of us. Memories of the phase that was never real. But now its all coming back. One text. One freaking text and whoooosh!  Its all back.

Tears threaten to flow and I immediately get up and sit, blinking them back.

Nope.
Nah.
Na.
No.

       I can't let my tears fall again for him. He is not worth them. It takes me minutes to calm my erratic heartbeat and get a total control over my tears. When I'm finally sane, I wonder as to how he must have gotten my number? Did one of my friends give him the number. No, not possible. A second question pops in my mind. Why would he message me now? As if on cue to answer my question, my phone beeps again

" I'm coming back soon babycakes. Wait for me."

         My face falls instantly. Its just a great day for me, isn't it? But then I can't break down again. Even if he comes back all I have to do is ignore him. In fact I have my friends now. They are such a huge support. And a cherry on the top I can totally kick ass now. I don't take self-defense classes for nothing right?. Yep. All settled. Lie!

          I look at the time and realize that its too late now. I look outside and see its already dark. I shake my head to I push aside all my frantic thoughts and go downstairs to the kitchen. I start making my dinner. Yea just my dinner. Dad comes home late now. Too late. Sometimes he doesn't return till 2.00 in the night. I used to question him at first. But all he said was,

"I have work darling, nothing else."

I actually wasn't convinced with his answer but I just let it pass. I knew he wouldn't say anything more than that. Since he comes late he either already eats out or doesn't eat at all until morning. I used to keep some food for him in the fridge but he clearly told me not to do so.

          After having my dinner alone. I go to the room. The room where lays my mother. My best friend. My counselor. My superwoman. I quietly open the door and sit beside her sleeping form on the bed. Pale, lifeless face, chapped lips and eyes shut, she still managed to look beautiful. All peaceful and composed- just as she was in real life. She was always the calmest and collected person I had ever seen. "Instead of panicking, worrying and crying- plan, find a way and react." She used to tell me- always. Like always.
      Be it an impending project or a test I wasn't prepared for. She just knew how to make me feel better. A soft warm smile and a motherly hug from her were all that took me to feel better and myself instantly. But now, she was here but she wasn't. She could hear my problems but couldn't react. Doctors told us she could make out the surroundings, hear what we told her but just couldn't respond. In fact, she couldn't even open her eyes. I never really know if is she is awake or actually sleeping.

           I slightly raise my hand and caress her soft hair. A tear slips down on my right cheek. I go close and whisper in her left ear,

"Hey mama bear! How are you feeling today? Its okay mumma, just a little bit of time more, then you are gonna be back. With us. We'll be the same lively Collin family again. But mama bear you are taking a bit long time now okay? I hate to not hear my best friend's voice. Come back soon. I miss you. Dad misses you. I miss your tasty food and our late night conversations about anything and everything. So just be back okay. Try mumma. Try for me. For us. But then I know you are trying. I know you miss us too. And I'm sure the day isn't far when you will wake up. The day when you will open your beautiful eyes and smile that warm smile for me. Its gonna be soon mumma. Soon. Just don't give up okay? Don't let go. Stay strong just as you taught me. And reward me for everything I do everyday."

        
       As I whisper these words, tears start falling freely. I don't control them this time. I never do. I put my guard down when I'm in here. I remove the happy facade when I'm with her. Because I don't need it. In fact, I need her to hear the desperation in my voice, to realize the need in my voice. So that she comes back to me soon. So that she realizes how much I miss her.

"So yeah mumma. Today was quite usual and boring. I was appreciated by my trainer you know. He said my defense is getting stronger. And..."

With this, I continue telling her the events of my entire day. Just like I do. Everyday.

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