XVIII

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OKAY HELLO EVERYONE NO IM NOT DEAD AND I KNOW IM THE WORST FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG IM SORRY BUT HERE YOU GO!!! As always, enjoy :)
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Gray's POV

"Where is it?! Help me find it!" I snap at Ethan as I lift the mattress of my bed. Stress starts to envelop me, making my hands instinctively reach up to my hair to tug at it. Since last night when I found Ray outside, the note disappeared.

Currently I'm in the middle of a mess, with Ethan standing off to the side with a confused face. This idiot wouldn't be able to help me if I was fucking dying and there was a first aid kit right next to me.

"Stop standing there and help!" I barely contain my voice as the panic rises in me. If I lost that note and someone else found it..who knows. Maybe the note had something secret in it, or maybe some sort of vital information. Who knows?! All I do know is that shit's been going on without me knowing it, which, by the way, doesn't help at all with my current mood.

Ethan groans, opening the drawer of my desk and then closing it before lazily pushing my clothes around with his foot. So much for asking for help.

"What's the big deal anyways? Some dumb note?" Ethan asks while plopping down on my bed as I shove all my clothes into a heap. My  back starts to ache from bending down and looking for the note for so long.

Of course I didn't tell Ethan about it, he would be even more confused and it wouldn't make any difference if I did. Sometimes it's better to keep things away from him considering how childish he acts about these things. But don't get me wrong, he's a good guy. Especially when it comes to bombs.

"It's just important to me," I explain calmly. There's no point in being mad if it won't help me.

Ethan sits up and shrugs, staring off into space while fiddling with my blanket. I sigh, standing up and falling face down onto my bed. I feel a pat on my back before hearing Ethan stand up. I lift my head and look over to see him say a quick "bye" before leaving. I roll over onto my back, sighing as I stare at the ceiling. The grey color reminds me of when I looked up at the ceiling in that hallway last night. A wave of concern washes over me as I remember how Ray kneeled in the snow, her arms shaking. Why was she out there? Did she get lost? She should have been stopped by someone, or maybe someone could have at least watched her. Maybe it was like how she was roaming around the first time I caught her.

But what if..no. There is no way she could have been outside trying to escape. Everyone knows that it's suicide to try and survive out there.

Surely it wasn't because of me. I quickly sit up in shock. It couldn't have been because of me. Of course not. Right? Right. I lay back down slowly, trying to figure it out. At least I was able to find her. That door locks each time it's closed, and if I didn't come..god. Unwanted chills run down my spine, my eyes closing to stop the images.

I get up, heading for the door as I shrug on my jacket. I can't keep this whole avoiding each other thing going on anymore. I briskly walk across headquarters, entering a hallway. Luckily, Pod 1 is the closest, and in no time in standing in front of a door.

Should I knock? Maybe I should do this another time. No, I can't chicken out now. I just need to apologize and then leave. Final closure. Just need to-

Noises are heard from inside, a person moving around. Oh shit. Maybe she's still angry. Or busy. I'd look like a fool! Just standing here? What am I even doing? There is no closure. She probably forgot about it, so I should be able to too.

I can't do this right now. It's probably going to be her roommate anyways. I jolt back and quickly leave the hallway, just as I hear the door opening. But it's too late to go back, I freaked out and I can't.

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