Here ya go folks@ nice long update for ya!
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Comment and tell me what you think ;)) ehhhh ehhh *nudge nudge*
-------------------------------> That'd be Billie lookin too fly for a white guy (yes... offspring reference)
I LOVE THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR.
RICO! SHE DIDN"T SEE ANYTHING! *waves hands mysteriously*
*walks to door*
Lets blow this popsicle stand boys!
Yes Rico... Kaboom!!
Please! Watch the external link! It has this video! It's so funny! CLICK IT WHEN DONE READING AND VOTING AND COMMENTING... it will make you laugh buddy!
Over the next 3 weeks everything went smoothly. We hung out in the swamp during the day and drank or watched movies at night. We'd almost forgotten why we'd ran to this house in the first place.
The morning after a night of vigorous lovemaking I woke up, not sure what had brought me out from my sleep. I felt something tickling my sides and I instinctively jerked away and opened my eyes in shock. Troy was laying next to me on the bed trying to look innocent. He must have tickled me!
I narrowed my eyes and scooted away, "What where you doing mister....mister... MAN!" I asked accusingly.
Troy widened his eyes innocently and didint' meet my eyes, "What ever do you mean Darcy?" He looked at me with laughter in his eyes and I stuck my tongue out at him.
"You tickled me!" I whinnied, "I was sleeping so nicely too!" I felt a yawn overtake me so i allowed my body to stretch and I yawned loudly, making Troy laugh at my silly face. I couldn't' help it if my face scrunches up weirdly when I yawn!
"Jerk." I muttered, rolling over so my back was facing him, I wasn't actually mad at him but I sure wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
No, I was much too childish for that kind of behavior. Maturity... phhhhhht boring. I heard him scoot slower to me and then i felt his fingers trailing in swirly patterns over the bare skin on my hip that was bared to him.
I let my eyes drift shut and I enjoyed the sensations going through my body at his gentle touch. Troy moved closer and I felt his hot breath on my neck and I shivered. His fingers trailed up my hip and skimmed just over the edge of my breast and I bit my lip to keep from moaning. His fingers finally found where he'd marked me and he started stroking the area.
I gasped and couldn't hold back my moan, it turned me on so much when he touch ed me there and I had no clue why. Speaking of which I wanted to ask him a question, "Troy, are you like... bummed you mated with me?" I waited nervously for his answer, I really hoped he didn't"t say yes.
Troy laughed and I rolled over to face him, hurt that he didn't care enough to answer me seriosly. He reached over and stroked my check, "Darcy, I didn't mean to mark you but it wouldn't have worked if I didn't have genuine, strong feelings for you."
I couldn't speak because my heart was pounding so hard and my heart had leaped so high it felt like it was in my throat. He had strong feelings for me? Those were the best words i'd heard in quite a while. I knew he didn't mean love, because we'd just gotten together a few days ago and love took quite a while to form.
"I have...grown rather fond of you too." I whispered, biting my lip nerviously. I'd never felt like this for anyone and honestly I hadn't expected anyone to like me this much back. Troy smiled at my weird choice of words and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.
Suddenly Billie burst in the room with a look of terror on her face, "Get dressed, your mother just called and said that they saw the supernatural police poking around Troy's work and it wont be long til they find out where we are!" She ran out of the room as quickly as she came in, most likely to warn Otis and Reagan.
We both jumped out of the bed and started packing up our things as quickly as possible. I grabbed my black, mini dress from the pile of clothes on the floor and pulled it on along with my sneakers and a gold belt to cinch the waste. Then I stuffed the rest of my clothes into my bag.
Troy had put on a pair of dickies and a dark blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up that made my mind go to dirty places at how good it looked on him. But this was no time to be lusting after that sexy piece of manflesh (yes, LOTR shout out!) I took one last look at the beautiful room and sighed sadly, I really didn't want to leave this place. Hopefully we'd be able to come back someday.
"Ready?" Troy asked from behind me and I nodded sadly and followed him as he walked quickly from the room and into the hallway where Otis and Ben were dragging the last of our backpacks into a pile. Reagan rushed from a random room with Billie hurrying after her waving a hair brush and shouting something about shoving it up her ass.
I raised my eyebrow at them, curious as to what had brought on that kind of... threat. Shivers went down my spine at the thought of a hair brush up my ass, sorry but that doesn't sound fun at all.
Reagan spotted me and ran over to hide behind me, "Save me! Just cause I insulted her taste in breakfast cereal she wants to sodomize me with a hairbrush!" Her fingers dug painfuly into my shoulders as she moved my body around to keep me between her and the raving mad blond who hadn't stopped waving the prickly brush threatening in our direction..
Ooo... Hairbrush... THAT REMINDS ME OF A SONG. In my head I started singing the hairbrush song by Larry The COOLcumber... (Yeah I made that up).
"Oh where is my hairbrush..... OH WHERE IS MY-" I was cut off by Billie whipping the brush in my direction and daring me to continue singing a song I knew she was annoyed with. Well, she had the weapon so I shut my mouth but damnit! She couldn't' stop me from singing in my head!
I held my hands up to silence them both and said, "We don't have time for this, you can continue this when we get back to Otis's house." This brought them to a halt, they apparently didn't know why we would be going back to a place where everyone had already looked for us.
"I know there is a secret entrance into the grounds from the house next door so I figure we will rent a car near here and leave Troy's til we can pick it up." Otis and Ben had walked closer to hear my plans so I continued on louder so they could hear clearly, "Then we drive to the neighbors house and I happen to know that they can basically sleep through Armageddon so they won't hear as we open their garage to get inside."
Otis nodded, "I have a universal garage remote I made for the science fair a few years ago and I know it works for theirs." He shrugged when Ben looked at him in amazement, "I'm not just a pretty face," He looked at Reagan suggestively, "I also have a great ass..." Just before Ben punched him in the side he finished, "AND I'm smart as hell."
I looked in everyone's faces to make sure no one disagreed and saw that they all looked pretty ok with the plan. I grabbed a bag from the floor and started walking out the front door, "Let's blow this Popsicle stand boys!"
YOU ARE READING
How to Drive A Vampire Completely Insane. (Watty Awards 2011)(Book 1)Vampire
Darcy realizes that her new neighbor is a vampire, a sexy, BORING vampire. So She and her best friend Billie decide to loosen him up a bit, by driving him completely and entirely insane.