Twilight Rays

21. When I first met him

The call lasted something like 5 minutes, but I was already done eating by the time she came back. She sat back, but was playing with her food.
"Give me your plate, Dad, I'll wash the dishes", I said.
"I'll help you!" Twilla hurriedly added, bringing her own plate to the kitchen.
I started rinsing a first plate, but Tweetie wasn't doing anything.
"Wanna tell me about that call, Twilight?" I asked her softly.
"Can you finish my food, please?"
I ate a little bit of chicken then she replied:
"Clara just called."
"What did she said?"
"That I was in trouble."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked worriedly.
"I don't know", she whispered.
"She didn't say anything else?"
"Yeah, but I don't know how much faith I should put in her words."
She sighed, sitting on the floor. I sat next to her.
"Just say it." I said in her ears.
She shivered a little bit, so I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.
"What if they don't like me?"
"Who? Your parents?"
"Clara thinks they're gonna move out without me."
"Doesn't mean anything."
"I know, but there's something else."
"What's that?"
"Apparently", she put the accent on the word, "Jean is my real father".
I didn't answer right away. If what Clara was saying was true, the man owed Twilla a lot of explanations. That was huge.
"Here's what I say: You forget about all of that for now. Tomorrow is a big day, you won't have time for drama like that. Once that's behind us, we'll deal with it. Understood?"
She nodded, resting her head on me.

_______

"Ready?" I wondered.
We were at Calvin's funeral service and even I had a hard time keeping my eyes dry. It was almost time for her to go on stage to read her text. I had worked on it with her and it was really good, but she refused to read it aloud in front of me because she didn't want to cry.
"I hope so."
"You'll be amazing. If you can't read anymore, just wave at me and I'll read it for you."
"You'd do that for me?"
"Absolutely. But try to say it by yourself. It's your goodbye, not mine."
"I know, but I'd like to... Can you go with me? So, you know, you can flip the pages if my hands shake too much?"
"Sure."
They called her right after. She inhaled deeply while getting up and, picking up the sheets, she walked toward the scene, followed by me. I put one hand on her shoulder and squizzed it nicely, encouraging her to start her speech.

"Two big blue eyes and one smart head. That's how I described Calvin when I first met him.

"I'm pretty sure I would've never talked to him if we weren't in the same bus. We were both introvert teenagers, we both had our prejudice. I hated him because all the girls were flirting with him, he hated me because I was rude with everyone in the bus. So much for a good start.

But honestly, I don't know how we became friends. I guess we just realized we were going to be together for the 5 next years, so we gave in. And I never regretted it because he was one of my best friends.

"Yeah. Was. We graduated and both went our separate ways. I bused all the way to his CEGEP to get to see him. But he wouldn't bother to do the same. So I stopped. I'd text him sometimes to update him on my life. Nothing, really. Back in high school, we'd spend hours talking about our lives, our dreams, our failures, our beliefs, our hopes.

"And the call. That awful call. Her mother, crying on the phone, asking me if I saw that coming. Heck no! I was too busy wondering why he wouldn't talk to me. I was too busy moving on.

"Now, I'm able to say that I didn't fall in love with Calvin. But I did had him close to my heart. Calvin left way too soon. At least, now, he has the answers to all his questions. And I like to think of it that way, as his ultimate quest for Truth. Although, he could've wait for God to call him to Him. But I guess it's too late now. I'll never forget him. But I will keep living. To prove him wrong, to show him there's still something in this world for all of us.

"I still believe, Calvin. I know you never did, but just because you're gone, doesn't mean my God is. And I love you, man. I love all the conversations we had together, because they made my faith steadier.

"This is my goodbye to you, Cal. Rest in peace."

She didn't cry on stage, unlike me (But honestly, I was more tired than anything). She didn't sit back to our place though: she almost rushed to the back door. I followed her.

"T, you did great!"
"Thanks." she muttered, observing me."You cried?"
"Kinda." I replied, averting her gaze.
She smiled despite her own tears rolling down her cheeks. I stepped closer, and we hugged each other tightly, both waiting for our lungs to fill with air properly.

The service was already over but neither of us wanted to meet the other people, nor assist to Calvin's incineration. Therefore, we were silently walking around the parking lot.
"You don't have to stay with me tonight. Go see your parents before they leave for Montreal." She told me after a while.
"You sure?"
"Absolutely."
"I'd like for you to come. Do you mind?"
"You don't have to..."
"I want to."
She didn't answer right away.
"If that's what you want, okay then."
I was about to answer when I saw her dad coming from afar, and gulped.
"Imma get going. See you later?"
"See you later."
She kissed my cheek quickly then ran to her parents. I searched for my keys in my pockets and walked away to my car.

Thinking about how to tell her I liked her.