Chapter 12- Ass

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Chapter 12- Ass

Dylan's POV

I walk downstairs and Maya is sitting on a stool in the kitchen and spinning around. She looks so cute in my clothes that are too big for her.


I look down at the table and all of the brownies are gone.

My eyes widen, "Did you eat all the brownies?" I ask Maya. She nods and giggles then pats her flat stomach, "They were delicious." She says.

Yeah... I'm sure they were, considering they are filled with drugs...

I nod and walk out the kitchen, calling Sebastian. "Hello?" Sebastian's voice answers, he was obviously sleeping before I called.

"Hey Bash, I have a problem. The crazy chick ate all the pot brownies." I say. Sebastian laughs, "I'll be there in five." He says and hangs up. Luckily he lives just down the road.

I walk into the kitchen and find Maya shredding a pineapple from my fridge to peices, "Stupid spongebob with the stupid bikini bottom! Like seriously spongebob, who the fuck lives in a pineapple? What if the pineapple rots and everything starts smelling weird? And Patric what the hell? You live under a fricking rock! No wonder you know nothing!" I chuckle, poor innocent Maya had no idea what were in those brownies and poor innocence spongebob never knew he'd be going so soon.

My doorbell rings and Maya looks up excitedly. She starts running around screaming, "It's nanny McPhee! It's nanny McPhee! She's here!" She runs to the door and opens it and then runs straight out and straight past Sebastian. "Shit, the crazy girl is lose!" I say to Sebastian, chuckling. "How bad is it? Wait, let's watch her for a while, this should be entertaining." Sebastian says.

We stand in the doorway and watch as the little psycho nerd does some stupid stuff.

She starts off by looking under tiny rocks and when Sebastian asked what she was doing she explained that she was looking for Patrick Star.

She walks a bit further down the road and we follow her, she walks up to a semi-truck. "I know your secret... Optimus Prime." She whispers, stroking the truck.

Me and Sebastian look at each other and burst out laughing, "She is so much more awesome when she is high!" Sebastian states.

Next she walks into a brick wall explaining that she "Needs to get to platform nine and three quarters." Once she's banged her head enough I am about to stop her when Sebastian grabs onto my arm, doubled over in laughter, "Please, just a little longer. This is comedy gold."

I shrug and watch Maya again, she walks up to some hairy biker dude and taps on his shoulder, he turns around, "Hagrid! You're real!" Maya shouts and the biker starts laughing and then hugs Maya and drives away on his motorbike.

Holy shit this Maya is so much better.

"Okay, that's enough you crazy child." I say, lifting Maya up and over my shoulder.

She giggles and slaps my ass, "Nice ass Dylan." I chuckle and slap hers back, "You too nerd."

I put Maya down and she frowns and then scrunches her nose and starts biting the air. "What are you doing?" I ask slowly. "I'm trying to bite my nose." She says an a duh tone.

"Dude, I don't think she is good for me, I need to get some air before I start laughing too much. I think I'm gonna go. That okay?" Sebastian says and I nod then he leaves.

"Accio!" Maya screams pointing at me. "What are you doing?" I ask again. "I'm summoning you Harry. Come here." Great, now she is a wizard.

"Yer a wizard Herry." She says in Hagrid's accent. "Ducklifors!" She shouts wiggling her finger at me again. "What?" I ask.

"I just turned you into a duck." She says proudly. I shake my head and laugh then walk closer to her. "Stop! Don't come any closer or I will kill you!" She shouts. Eh, why not. I walk closer to her, "Avada kedavra!" Shouts.

I fall to the ground, "dead". Maya staddles me. Oh shit. "Dylan." She whispers. I love the way she says my name. Is that weird?

Maya puts a soft hand against my cheek and leans down, "Can you hear me?" She whispers and starts playing with the collar of my shirt. Maya is straddling me while wearing my boxers and no pants. Shit.

I open my eyes and Maya is really close to my face and her hand is still on my cheek. She would probably be puking from being this close to me if she wasn't on cloud nine.

"Your awake!" She points out.

"You have such pretty eyes, like the ocean." She stares intently into my eyes.

Ocean? My eyes are brown...

Okay then.

She grins and I'm captivated. Her smile, it's like fireworks. When you look at it you just never want to take your eyes off it because it's absolutely beautiful.

Did I just think that?

Oh my god, I'm becoming one of those stupid guys from movies and books. Please pray for me.

I stand up and take Maya with me, carrying her bridal style. "Come on, let's get you to bed you little nerd."


I love high Maya :P Don't you?

Qotd: "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
-Ron White

Lots of love and jelly tots- TPG

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