seventeen

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is it too early for drama idk
also i know it seems like josh is being petty and he's mad over nothing --- he's not
-
fifty days in

josh's friends finally left.

it wasn't that he didn't want them around, it was that he didn't want to talk anymore. he didn't want to do much of anything without tyler. funny how a little over a month and a half of talking to such a cute boy could affect him so much.

josh took a nap after the phone call. he woke up to an empty room and three sticky notes all telling him to cheer up, we love you, he's not worth it. in the now dark room, he glances at his phone. the lock screen tells him it's nearly eleven o'clock at night. he groans. he'll be up all night without tyler.

he had read earlier on tyler's snapchat story that tyler's going on yet another date with the guy from the party. 'it's not what it seems', his ass. he wonders if tyler's date is over yet. he wonders if tyler is kissing the boy goodnight. he wonders if tyler is thinking of him. he wonders if tyler really wants him to go away. he wonders if he'll ever be okay without tyler.

he sniffles again, and presses the base of his hands to his eyes. he wills himself not to start crying again, his head hurts enough as it is. he feels angry all of a sudden, like this is tyler's fault. it's not. he knows it's not. he's just fighting to not be angry at himself. he grabs his phone and throws it across the room.

he watches it shatter. he can't bring himself to care. it's like the memories of tyler are already gone. he shakes his head. his mom will be pissed about that when she and his dad get home from their business trip. for now, he logs onto his computer. he connects it to his speaker, blasting 'feelings fade' and laying back in his bed once again. he closes his eyes.

he doesn't try and stop the tears. he knows they'll come anyway. he listens to the familiar song, and gently he can hear the pitter-patter of raindrops outside. the sky outside matches his mood.

he doesn't even register the knocking at first. for a bit he writes it off as a beat he'd never noticed in the song. realizing what it actually is he frowns. he doesn't want to answer the door, but - gosh the banging is so loud. he shouldn't even be able to hear it over the music and from all the way upstairs. vaguely, he can hear neighbors start yelling outside too.

he throws himself off his bed, and stumbles downstairs. he cringes as he passes the mirror in the living room. he looks like a complete mess. dark eye circles, bloodshot eyes, and half faded purple coloring practically falling out of his hair. he shakes his head, throwing open the door.

"josh," tyler sounds breathless again.

josh doesn't say anything. he feels like he's hallucinating. the porch light is shining on tyler's face, glowing in his big brown eyes. the rain beats down on his black hoodie, and josh can see him shivering.

"hey i know i just showed up but, damn, it's really cold out here in the rain," tyler says sheepishly.

josh doesn't say anything. he steps forward slowly, like if he moves too fast the hallucination of tyler will go away. he brings his hands up to cup tyler's face and tilts his head back. he leans down slowly, pressing his lips firmly to tyler's. tyler brings his hands up to grip josh's wrists, making sure he doesn't pull away. he responds to josh's kiss gently.

josh is crying now, or maybe it's just the rain trailing down his cheeks, or gosh maybe tyler is the one sobbing right now. all josh knows is he needs more. josh pulls tyler closer, stumbling backwards. he kicks the door shut, pulling tyler tightly to him. tyler walks him gently to the couch, pushing him backwards. he falls softly, and trails his hands up and down tyler's torso. tyler whimpers quietly into josh's mouth, and it's at this point that josh begins to think clearly.

he pulls away, earning another whining sound from tyler.

"what about your date?" josh murmurs coldly, ceasing all movement.

"he's not you," tyler whispers, connecting his lips with josh's once again.

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