Klaroline: Capable of Love

Chapter 42

Caroline's POV

What am I doing? I should head back to the hotel. It is like I can control myself one second, and then another I can't. I don't want to go back to the hotel because I heard Bonnie and Elena talking and they said they were going to knock me out with a spell. My mind is all over. Uh, I just need to sort through what I know.

Okay, think Caroline. You have werewolf venom in your system. You don't want to go back to Elena and Bonnie. You are in the streets of...Oh, where am I? I think I'm not in America anymore...London! I think I am wandering the streets of London. You are hungry, really hungry. Somebody has a paper cut, somewhere, snap out of it Caroline! I can not control my hunger right now, so no feeding, no matter how bad I want it.

I just need to clear my mind. I walk into some bar and head straight for the bathrooms. I push open the door and lock it behind me. I walk over to the sink and splash some water on my face. I hear a door squeak and whip around. I didn't even realize that this bathroom had stalls and there was somebody in here.

The girl looks like she might be seventeen or eighteen. She has long red hair that flows to her belly button. She approaches me carefully as if I might break, which I feel like I will. She looks confused as if she doesn't know what to do.

She asks me slowly, "Are you okay?"

I say, "Of course I am not okay. I am dying." Why does she think I am okay? If I was okay, I wouldn't be in the bathroom crying.

She asks, "Oh, do you need anything?"

My brain feels like it is going to explode. I say, "I don't know what I need. I need, I need." What do I need? I need to be healed. Klaus. I need Klaus. "I need him.", I say quickly.

"Who do you need?"

I ignore her question and dig into my pockets. Uh, I didn't bring my cellphone with me. I don't know Klaus's number, I don't think there is any way I will be able to contact him.

The girl says, "I am going to go get help."

She starts to head for the door, but I flash in front of her. I compel her, "You will stay in here with me and do as I say."

She repeats plainly, "I will stay here and do whatever you say."

"What am I doing? I am going to die and I have wasted my whole life." I start to pace back and forth the tiny bathroom. "I never even gave him a chance."

"Gave who a chance?", the girl asked a little freaked out.

"Klaus.", I say with a sigh. She opens her mouth to ask another question, but I ask her, "Did I say you could talk?", she quickly closes her mouth.

I continue pacing as I say, "I mean he was supposed to be my last love. He was going to show me the world. I couldn't picture my future any other way. He was supposed to help me through it when Bonnie dies. We were supposed to get married in Italy and honeymoon in Paris. We might have even adopted a kid or two after a few centuries. He was going to be an overprotective father and I was going to be a cool mom. We were supposed to have a future together, but I couldn't give him a chance. I was too stubborn to let him make me happy. I was going to be happy with him."

The girl is looking at me with wide eyes. I feel my veins and fangs come out. I am really hungry. The girl starts to cry and I remember she is a human. I don't kill people. I am a good vampire.

I compel her, "Forget you ever met me. Wash off your face and go back to wherever you were before you came into this bathroom."

I unlock the door and quickly walk outside. Somebody bumps into me and I can feel my fangs starting to descend. I quickly recompose myself and flash to a forest. I smell backpackers near me. I can't control myself and I am going to hurt someone.

I need to end it. I need to stop myself before I kill somebody. I break off a tree branch and put it above my heart. I hope I get to see my mom. My dad would have wanted it, he hated me as a vampire.

Deep breath Caroline, you can do this.