College Life

Chapter Thirteen

               I rolled my eyes. "Jesse, I did not embarrass myself last night to just give up on you. I'm not going anywhere. But I do want you to think this through because honestly, my heart is fragile when it comes to you."

               "So do you like me? Like in a gay way?"

               I frowned. He has a lot to learn. "No, I like you in a human way."

               "But do you like me?"

               "Yes, I like you."

               "So go out with me."

               "No. Take your time to think it through, be sure that it's what you want to do then ask me again."

               He didn't speak for a couple of minutes. "Okay, I thought it through. Now would you like to go out with me?"

               "Jesse! I'm serious! Don't mess around like that!"

               "Alright, alright. Jeez. I'll think about it."

               I kept staring at the side of his face as he drove. He's so dreamy. He makes me feel all mushy inside. I liked the feeling a lot, the feeling of possible real love. My first real love.

               "So you think you like me?"

               "I don't know. I don't know anything. That's why I need to go out with you. I need to think of us in a romantic way and figure out what I want. It's weird for me, I don't see you as a guy. Isn't that fucked up?"

               "As long as you don't see me as a girl, I'm okay with it."

               "No, I don't see you as a girl either. I just ... it's so difficult to explain. That's what is messing with my head, only that. There is no other confusion."

               "So you're confused because you see past my gender, so it leaves it open to a romance? So what happens when it comes to sex?"

               He looked uncomfortable now, did I just hit the jackpot question? Did he even think about it? He has to think of us in a sexual way, other wise how would he truly know? Many straight guys can imagine themselves dating another guy and not feel disgusted about it. But when it comes to the real stuff, they stay away.

               "You didn't think about that, did you?" I added.

               "Actually I did."

               "Did you now? Did you think of it in a graphic way? Did you think of my—"

               "Don't push it, Rayne." He cut me off before I said it.

               I grinned. "Don't worry, I think of yours all the time." I said sarcastically. 

               "I'm sure you do."

               I stared at his face, his sexy dark brown hair, his arms, his chest, his legs, his hands, all of him. I've never been this captivated by a human body before. I was so intrigued to find what lies beneath the clothes. Not in a dirty way, I'm not a dirty person. Jesse seems to be one though.

               "Are you enjoying the view?" He smirked.

               "Very. You're beautiful."

               "Wow, Rayne. Way to make the atmosphere more awkward than it already is."

               I jumped. "What?! I'm speaking the truth. You're right, I'm different but not just from guys but from the rest of humanity. I like being gentle and nice and honest. You're fucking beautiful so accept it!"