"Who do you love, Carter?" Scotty kept annoying me to no end. I was standing at my locker trying to get my books for period five.
I decided to not grab my books yet. Instead I slammed my locker shut and turned around.
"Why can't you just leave me alone!" I was leaning against my locker, annoyed with him showing up everywhere I turned.
"I love you." He looked at me with tears in his eyes. "Why can't you just see that I love you and I need you in my life? Please just realize I'd never leave you. I'd stay with you forever if you wanted me to stay or I'd go if you wanted me to go. Just please stay with me for now." He was very upset as he let a tear fall down his cheek. He then wiped it away slowly as he looked up at me through his eyelashes showing me the complete and utter misery he was feeling without me by his side. He seemed to be going back to the guy I knew before we messed around and had sex. I had missed that guy so much and didn't like the new Scotty at all. I feared running back into his arms and having him be the new Scotty again.
"I'm sorry Scotty. I just don't feel the same way anymore." I felt like crying because I knew how much that hurt him.
"But you feel that way about Adam?! Seriously? After he is a constant jerk..." I interrupted him right there.
"You are no better than him there. All you do anymore is hurt me. All the things you say are just lies that go in one ear and out the other. Scotty I don't even know you anymore." I looked angrily at Scotty and with all my pain in my eyes.
"But I love you and he doesn't. I can change. Just tell me what I did and I'll change. Come on Carter! Please just give me another shot! I miss you, darling. I need you, baby. Come on beautiful; tell me how you really feel. I can tell that inside of you; you still care. You still want me around as much as I want you around." He then stepped towards me and hugged me.
"Scotty! What are you doing!? Let me go right now!" I pushed him away from me with all the strength I had inside of me; which wasn't much. I really needed to start working out if I was going to be in the play. He looked completely upset and I saw one tear fall from his face; again. He never let me see it because he thought I'd think he was a wimp but I really wanted to see his emotions. Holding them back just isn't healthy and I cared for him deeply. I needed to see his emotions to there full potential in order to understand him completely; but he wouldn't let it happen.
"Scotty..." I sighed as I stepped forward with worry ringing clear in my voice.
"Carter, don't. If all you are going to do is play games, just let go. Forget me and let your mind be blown as your life gets better." His voice was calm and steady as he took a step away; testing what I'd do.
"Don't." I whispered as I stepped forward.
"Don't, what?" He questioned with another step away.
"Scotty." I pleaded and begged with a whine in my voice.
"What?" He stayed where he was.
"Scotty, don't go." I stepped forward and grabbed his arm. He turned around crying, with tears falling in big drops that reassembled rain as they fell off his cheeks, now. I pulled him close to me and hugged him. I needed him in my life at all times. I was just starting to realize this but I wasn't sure if I really wanted him by my side as my boyfriend yet. I thought he would have to work his way back to the level where I could trust him. I didn't think that was fair at the same time though because I loved him so much and he cared for me so well.
I started to think about our history together though and how complicated it had been. I started to think about how we weren't all that great and didn't have much going for us. That's when I started to cry. The sobbing was huge and I started to choke as I started to search for air. Scotty pulled me closer to him so there was no distance between us.
"What's wrong Carter?" He whispered to me with his chin on top of my head.
"I just don't think I can do this." I sighed.
"But you just got so far! Why the two steps forward and four steps back?" He looked into my eyes, concerned.
"It's just we've been through so much. It doesn't seem worth it anymore. I mean we've had so much bad. Your emotions are all over the place and I know you're bipolar but I don't think I can take it much anymore." I cried into his chest.
"You're just like that! Your emotions are all over the place! I can't even follow anymore!" He started to yell. "We've had just as much good as bad! I love you and you love me! It's worth it! Just come on, Carter! Why do you even care what everyone thinks?! Stay with the one you love! What do I need to do to prove it?! Do I need to give you the world? If that's it just come back to me and I'll one day give you the world!"
"SEE! That's exactly what I mean! You are always yelling and drawing attention to us! We aren't the "it" couple, Scotty! No one cares about our mishaps! They don't care if we are together or not!" I yelled back and walked towards my locker as someone passed by.
"You two are actually the it couple." The guy looked over at me through his hair.
"Didn't care." I said after him as he walked down the hall.
Scotty looked down the hall and pointed. "Seems to me they do care and we are the it couple." He looked over at me.
"We aren't even a couple!" I replied in anger.
"Don't say that. We are a couple. We are just having issues." Scotty was upset and in pain as I stabbed at his heart. He hugged me again from behind while I opened my locker. "Just think about it please. Please just think about coming back to me. You can have the world, Carter. I love you. You could have the world." He then walked away and I got my books for my fifth period as I yelled at him.
"We are not a couple!" Then I thought of what else I could yell. "You never even said you were sorry for every time you hurt me to the point I wouldn't talk to you!" I then turned back to my locker and got my books. As I closed my locker door with anger. I turned around and Scotty's arms went around me on my low waist; and also rested on my butt as he pulled me close to him.
I was speechless so I didn't speak. I was out of anger towards him as his eyes stared deep into mine. He quickly kissed my lips; left me wanting way more than he would give me. "I really hope you don't believe anything I yelled at you. I really hope you didn't mean anything you yelled either because I love you, Carter. I can't see life without you. I just really hope you think about everything I can bring you because I can't get you off my mind, beautiful. I love you so much." He whispered it all to me and then just walked away; leaving me speechless, as always.