Book two Chapter 5

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Ram

I dreamed I was in a very dark place. At bukod sa alam kong isang panaginip lang yun, dala ng fogs na madalas effects sa mga panaginip ko, alam ko rin na parang may nawawala. May hinahanap ako na hindi ko makita. No matter how much I tried to find it, I just couldn't and it left wrenching feeling in my heart. An emptiness I couldn't seem to fill.

That gnawing feeling persisted and I struggled to find what is it that's missing. Ano yun? Ano yung nawala sakin na kailangan kong hanapin? It was as if that something lost is a part of me, like a limb, like a vital organ. Like I'm missing a heart or my lungs. Like I would never be whole again, without it.

"Charlie.." I whispered in my dream.

That was when the realization dawned on me. I couldn't find her, and it was hurting me, it's as if I couldn't breathe. Air was knocked out of me and I felt dizzy. Disoriented even.

It was like dying.. A very painful way to die..

I woke up with a sudden jolt and found Charlie's side of the bed empty. That had me bolting upright. Only to see her putting on her bra at the edge of our bed. But even after seeing her, my heart still pumped furiously against my chest, I could even hear it in my ears. I tried to drink the sight of her in, silently telling myself to calm the f*ck down. She's here. There's no need to worry.

"Are you okay?" hindi ko napansin na nakatingin na pala siya sakin na punong puno ng pagtataka ang mukha.

I took a deep breath. Pakiramdam ko may nakadagan na kung ano sa dibdib ko, at hanggang ngayon, kahit na alam kong narito siya, hindi parin iyon mawala wala. "Yeah," I managed to tell her.

Nagkibit balikat lamang siya pero bago siya tumayo ay lumapit ako para yakapin siya nang sobrang higpit. I buried my face in the crook of her neck and inhaled the scent of her hair. I wanted a fill of her, I wanted to reassure myself that it was just a dream and she was really here with me. And that she's not going anywhere, she wouldn't be leaving me.

"Baby, okay ka lang ba?" I felt her hand on my head, brushing my hair. "Pinapakaba mo 'ko."

I just went on creepily sniffing on her bedroom hair. Mas hinigpitan ko pa ang yakap ko hanggang sa feeling ko nakarecover na 'ko sa nakakatakot na panaginip na yun. I tried feeling her bare tummy with the palm of my hands, nagtungo naman ang kamay ko sa buhok niya para hawiin iyon, and then I planted soft kisses on her nape.

"Okaaay.. So, you're creeping me out already, Ram." she said in a shaky voice. Inabot niya ang batok ko ay pilit na pinipigilan ang paghalik ko. "Aramis.." she scolded.

But she cannot easily put me off. I spun her head around and kissed her plump lips. Paulit ulit. "I love you. I love you." I repeatedly said, with each kisses. "I love you so much, Charlie."

"I love you more.." she stared longingly into my eyes. Hinaplos niya ang magkabilang pisngi ko. I knew she was trying to figure me out.

"Stop looking at me like that, I'm fine, I'm good." I reassured her, refusing to sound like a pussy kung ikukwento ko pa sa kanya ang walang kwentang panaginip ko.

"Sure? Daig mo pa kasi ang binabad sa suka kanina eh, ang putla mo?" she brushed her fingers across my lips and my cheek. "Are you sick, baby?"

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