Ch. 16 The doorway

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Katniss' P.O.V.

Peeta and I sit in the doorway across from one another, looking out into the rain. It's been pouring all day. It's springtime in twelve. Trying to recall the last time it rained this hard brings up memories. Like splashing in the puddles with my sister on our way home from school. Or trying to dodge the cool droplets as I run with Madge to her house. I let a small smile spread across my cheeks.

"...and you think they would have supported the rebels?" Peeta says continuing our conversation.

I snap out of my daze and glance over at him, paying attention to what he has to say. He's still staring outside.

"Well I think they would." he says, when I don't reply.  I think about the five career tributes that hunted me down in the first games.

"But I guess either way, they wouldn't have been given the luxury of getting the choice to support the rebellion or to side with snow." he adds.

"What do you mean? I ask him.

"If we didn't make it out, there would be no rebellion to support..." Peeta says, trailing off. "...but because we escaped they're dead."

"You don't think there would have been a rebellion if someone else won?"

"No. Well not after our games at least. I think an uprising like that would have happened way more into the future."

A shiver runs through me and I turn back to the window.

"Well I bet they would support it anyway. I don't care what anyone says, nobody wants to be in that arena." I speak up.

"I just- I feel so guilty sometimes." He says slowly.

"Why?" I ask, wondering what's going on in his head.

"Because they trained their whole lives for the games and we were the ones who made it out you know. I mean they dedicated their lives to it."

"Yeah." I sigh. There's a long, comfortable silence.

"Well it's all over now." He says, trying to lighten the mood.

"It is."

"And here we are."

I smile a bit. "So this is the life of a victor." I do my best to impersonate effie, but that makes me feel even worse. Peeta chuckles.

"I guess it is."

"Come on." Peeta says getting up.

He offers me his hand and I take it, letting him pull me up.

"Wanna see if the bread from six came out good?"

I nod, giving him a sad smile.

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After eating, we brush our teeth and change. We decide to sleep together without either of us having to actually mention it. I just walk down the hall and he follows after me. Later we sit in bed, leaning against the headboard. 

"Did you ever think it was gonna be like this?" Peeta says with a serious tone.

"What?"

"This. You know. How we are now."

I laugh, and look down at my fingernails, 'suddenly becoming interested in my cuticles'.

"No." I reply honestly.

There's a short , awkward type of silence. I look up at him.

"Did you?" I say a little too defensively. "Did you think we would end up like this?"

"Well... I mean I always dreamed of being with you."

I suppress a smile and although I try not to blush, I feel my cheeks redden. "Oh swoon" I say, and dramatically brush my hand against forehead and lean back onto him. Peeta chuckles.

"But-" he says louder.

I interrupt him "but..." I say copying his tone.

"You know... I never thought all of this was gonna happen." He starts fiddling with my hair.

My smile fades. "All the bad stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Me neither."

It's quiet for a moment until Peeta speaks up.

"Well what did you think your future was gonna be like?"

"I don't know" I answer truthfully.

"Oh come on..." He says, twisting my hair around his finger.

I smile. "No really. Before all this, I didn't even think about a future. My goal was to survive and dodge the games each year."

"Well at least part of your plan worked." Peeta says reassuringly with a happy sort of ring toward the end of his sentence.

"Yeah." I say, suddenly in a not-joking mood.

"Sorry." He says quickly, catching himself. "But you know good things came out of all this."

"I know" I say, nodding along.

"Like no more games..."

"No Snow, no Coin" I say adding onto his list.

"No more starvation, no inequality"

I look at him admiringly and smile.

Peeta gives me a cheeky grin and looks down, then back at me.

"Nothing keeping us apart..."

I roll my eyes and stare at him.

Peeta scowls.

I smirk and then prop myself up on my elbow.  I reach up, tugging at the neck of his shirt. He leans down and before I know what I'm doing, I start to lean closer to him. He quickly fills in the gap and we kiss for real, for the first time since we were in the Capitol. It's not a long kiss, but it's a sweet, short one that leaves me wanting more when he pulls away. When it's over, I catch my breath and open my eyes to see a sea of blue looking back at me. He looks surprised, confused even.

"Um... sorry." I stumble over my words, still surprised by my own actions.

Peeta just stares down at the bed sheets and shakes his head. I really shouldn't of done that.  He was recovering from the hijacking so well.

"No." he whispers, in a tone so hushed that I barely hear him. He shifts his gaze to meet my eyes, and takes my face in his hands, desperately bringing his lips to mine. I'm taken aback and just barely get the chance to kiss back before he pulls away again. He gives me a nervous look. I shake my head let out a small laugh.

"What?" he whispers with a chuckle.

I don't answer. I shift my position and so does he, laying on his back.  I turn to the side, and lay my head on his chest. I listen to his heartbeat, the sound I used to take for granted, and remember too clearly. I close my eyes.

"Night?" he questions me.

"Night."

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A/N: Hey I finally updated, wow I had writers block bad, sorry guys. Well I hope you liked it, there's more to come! Vote, comment and share  :) Love you! #Imeverlarkedbad

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