Chapter 1 ~ "I love narwhals!"

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A/N: Do you see the absolutely beautiful cover? It was made by none other than capacious! I am in love with it!

Chapter 1: "I love narwhals!"

I was gonna die. I didn't want my last thoughts to encompass Ryan, of all people. Damn it, I should've thought of something better.

Narwhals! I love narwhals. They're like unicorn and dolphin half-breeds.

"Eurgh!" came a muffled sound as I didn't die, but rather landed on something squishy and soft, like a bean bag.

"Well hello there, Mr. Seth," I said thankfully. His body was the only one I would describe as a bean bag. He wasn't fat, so it was strange; he was slim, but soft. Like a breadstick.

"Jordan, I've been looking for you everywhere!" he replied crossly. "Where have you been?"

I tapped my chin with my index finger and pretended to think. "Well...since you found me in this area, I'd have to say this is where I've been."

He shoved me away and smacked the back of my head, like the rude older brother he was. "Don't be a smartass!"

"Too late, that's how I was raised," I replied flatly. I stood up and dusted off my jeans thoroughly. Now there were grass stains all over it.

"We should just send you to a correctional facility."

I rolled my eyes. "Why can't you accept me for who I am?"

He wasn't in the mood to play, though. I could tell, because he was in his Mum-pose: hip cocked like a girl, elbows bent and hands on his sides, eyebrows furrowed, and awkwardly arranged feet. "Mum and Dad were worried. Couldn't you have told them before gallivanting out all on your own?"

"For one, I told Dad. And for another, do you mind if I use 'gallivanting'? It's my new favourite word, thanks to you." Lord, who on earth uses that word anymore besides old English professors?

"What's the point of telling Dad? He's gone to work. You know he doesn't care enough about these things to know when to tell Mum."

"That's 'cause he knows what's more important."

"You are important, Danny!" 

I ignored him and looked around. "Did Marie come looking for me too?" Of course she would, that's just her personality.

"Yeah, she's somewhere around here, but - hey, wait!" 

I didn't wait for him to finish, because I had spotted my favourite (and only) sister-in-law, Marie. The poor girl was married to my older brother, so I had to give her extra love. "Marie!" I sang loudly, about to dash after her, but Seth wrapped his arm around my neck and yanked me back.

I fell onto my ass and scowled at him. 

"What was that for?" I said, annoyed.

"She's pregnant!" he scolded. "Be careful!"

"How was I supposed to know?" I looked at Marie, whose hand was on her chest. She looked startled. "Sorry, Marie!" I called. 

"No problem, missy," she said, sounding out of breath. 

I spotted the tiny bump on her tummy and grinned. "You've been gone for four months! Geez, Seth, you've been busy."

He turned red and kicked me. While I was on the ground! "Ow!" I rubbed my leg and pouted. "Marie! Your husband is hurting me!"

She sighed and chuckled softly. "Seth, don't kick your sister."

"I can't help it! She's so, bloody, stupid!" Between each pause, he kicked me. 

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