Chapter 2.

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Thor's nostalgic grin slowly faded. For the words that followed, were not describing that day nearly as innocent as the way he remembered it in his own mind...

"Yesterday, at the dawn of night I was walking through the garden. An average Aseir's lifespan lasts 5000 years, I have only lived a decade. Will it always be this bad? The celebration of my day of birth did not go as well as I had hoped it would. How foolish of me, there is no place for hope living among enemies. I was covered from the very top of my head to the very tips of my black leather boots in sticky frosting, candle wax was pricking my skin, I was too upset to perform a healing spell. They made me weep on my special day. Why would they be so mean to me?

It all started out quite alright. There were me, Thor and his buffoon friends. We all were sitting by the dining table and eating all sorts of delicacies that mother loved making on special occasions. We were making jokes together, some of them never hit the mark for me, perhaps I always have had a taste for darker wit than my mutuals. I mustn't have let it show.

Offended by my lack of interest in his puns, my oaf of a brother clearly ran out of both patience and ideas.

As the ill-mannered attention seeker he always was, I was hoping he would be reasonable enough not to make fun of me, at least on my birthday. However, Thor is Thor, bullying has always come naturally for him, even though the idiot never meant to truly hurt anybody.

It was all just a little bit of fun in his eyes. That is why unlike other bullies, the Golden child of Odin was always praised for his crude actions. The crowd always favored him over everybody else. 

So he made a joke about me. The fool didn't even think it would hurt me, did not consider the thought that maybe his sense of humor was not appreciated by everyone.

I am fully aware it was supposed to be fun. Everyone started laughing at me so much I felt my eyes tearing up, I didn't like this at all. "Aren't jokes supposed to be funny for everyone?" I asked Thor, but he didn't hear me, nobody did. I did not know what to do, soon the anger got the best of me and I yelled at them. I told them to stop, it's humiliating! I knew my brother would have had my neck under his boot if I did the same towards him. They were still laughing at me as if I wasn't even there....

So humiliating.....I could not stand it anymore, I panicked. My heart has never beat this fast before. I knew I had to make it stop before I would break down crying in front of everyone, they would not let go of that one any time soon. And I have got enough of cruel comments and remarks on my plate as it is. Thank you very much

I simply stood up flipping the entire table upside down, food flew everywhere and the beautiful porcelain plates got broken in pieces, Frigga will be furious. Red candle wax spilled all over my face and neck, the burning liquid was flowing down my skin like blood.

They didn't stop there as I wished and we all ended up in a fight. Mother came in, she looked so disappointed, it was truly dreadful. My lungs closed up and my pale palms got sweaty, is this what they call an anxiety attack? 

For if so, it surprisingly sounded a lot like I was laughing. Sobs were breathless inhales of air, the smirk I wore on my face was my last attempt at preserving what's left of my self-worth and self-respect. Of course, the party ended immediately, shouldn't been a surprise that I got all of the blame for this, I lashed out after all.

It is far by not the first time I got accused of a thing I did not do...
That is why I created this very journal. So I'll always have someone to talk to when I am in dear need a friend the most. I will write down every moment of my life that stood out to me, be it bad or good...."

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