The Tent (Mature)

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A/N: This is mature guys but I try to write stories as real to relationships as I can and I thought they were ready for this. It was the first really personal, really intimate time I wrote, or that's what it felt like to me so it's not smut or anything but it is sex. But if you don't like that, which I totally get, just skip to the next chapter because this has no super important information in it. Thanks for reading!

“Wake up,” I shook him some time later.

I was so completely shy that it took me hours into his sleep to come to terms with my realization. I had skittishly walked inside, knowing he had a condom in his wallet. I took it, and laid in bed for another hour or so, staring at it. I let my imagination run wild, what could possibly happen next. I was nervous, but…. It was such a good nervous.

“What? What? Are you okay?” he sat up. “What’s wrong?” I smiled at his messy hair, his thick, heavy sleepy voice.

“I’m fine,”

He yawned. “So you’re waking me up in the middle of the night… because?”

I brushed his hair back, and sat on his torso. I ran my hands along his tattoo, he stared, completely confused.

“B-Be m-my f-first,” I whispered so softly, I didn’t know if he’d heard. By the reaction in his eyes, he did. 

“What?”

“Y-You h-heard me.”

“After the conversation of all the women I slept with, you want me?”

I took a breath. "Yes,”

“Why?” he seemed baffled, holding my hips.

“Because… I want to be the first one of the fifteen or so, to matter. I want one of your firsts, besides being your first girlfriend.” I scrunched my fingers nervously in his hair. “Would I matter, it’s okay if I wouldn’t just yet. I know one day I could.”

He studied me, for a long time. His green eyes were a bit hazy from sleep, and confusion.

“Of course you’d matter. You matter the most.” He tucked my hair behind my ears. “You don’t have to have sex with me to matter; you know I care about you. I wouldn’t let you in my life, or show you my art work, or talk to you about my dad. I thought you knew you how much you mattered.”

I smiled; it’s exactly what I wanted to hear. He wasn’t rushing through the conversation to just jump my bones, he didn’t just say okay and start. It was a yes, and him telling me we didn’t need to have sex. That showed so much to me.

“That’s sweet,” I kissed his lips. I took the condom from behind me, gently setting in his palm. “I like a guy who comes prepared.”

He smiled, his white teeth glowing. “Are you sure Finley? I don’t need sex from you. I really care about you without it. Think really seriously about this. Are you ready, you only lose this once?”

“I know, and I’m ready.”

He gave me an affectionate smile and a gentle squeeze on my hips. My body was already shaking, but in a good way. He wrapped me up in an impossibly tight embrace, and rolled me onto my back. He kissed me for some time, gently moving down my throat. He dragged his hands down, and pulled my shorts off.

“You’ve never done anything?” I nodded. “Then… I’m going to have to help you a bit. It’ll just help you know what to expect so you’re not as tense, if you tense up it can hurt more.”

“Which entails?” He just smiled at me, and kissed up my legs.

Turns out prep work entails a lot. He used his hands, my body was extremely anxious; it actually hurt a bit till the first round was done. I knew what to expect when he did it again, his fingers were skilled. I ignored how he got so skilled.

“Ready?” He breathed out, hovering over me. I nodded, kissing him. I broke away as he connected with me, my face buried in his throat. I whimpered. “I’m sorry,” he moaned out, his head fell back, he was enjoying himself. He stayed still for me; letting me grasp this, understand it. It wasn’t what I expected, at all. His body was overwhelming; he was so much bigger than me, broader, warmer. It was a good feeling, just different. 

I gripped his upper arms and kissed him, really kissed him. He gently started moving; he laced one of hands together, only making me feel closer to him. He cradled my body so tightly, said the sweetest words in my ear, so softly to bring me comfort. It was working, his words distracting me from the pain for some time.

One of his arms dropped to my back, pinning me to him. He held my face with the other as he kissed me, tugging on my hair as he laid us on our sides. The shift made me gasp. He smiled and lifted my leg up a bit. It was so much more intimate, it felt like it was just one person, it was me seeing every side I could of him.

“You’re so beautiful Finley,” he whispered, his breath heavy. He kissed my nose, his forehead on mine as he moved. A moan slipped through his lips. I just stared, shocked that it was happening. I touched his sculpted chest, trying to understand that he was real. He rolled so he was on top a few moments later.

“H-Harry,” I stammered out as I gripped his back. His skin was so warm and soft, I felt him flex under my hold, my head falling back. I didn’t know my body was capable of such an amazing thing. It was like it was rewarding me for showing this side of myself to him.

“Fin,” he called, burying his face into my throat. His breath was so hot, like my skin. He let out a garbled moan, and then his body melted. I was panting loudly, so loud I thought the owls in the woods may have heard. I stared up in a daze, seeing the stars overhead of us.

He was still for so long, his body just holding mine as he rested on top of me. His arms tucked behind my head. He sat up; our bodies still lied skin to skin. He looked down at me, his face so close to mine. He was just staring.

“Why me?”

I smiled. "I have a really long list on why." He smiled warmly at me, kissing my forehead. He dropped one of his hands to my side, gripping me so I'd jump into him, he laughed a bit as he tickled my skin. I giggled, and took a breath. “It wasn't as scary as I thought it’d be.”

“I’m glad,” he tucked my hair behind my ears affectionately, and kissed me again, slowly, the kind of kiss that made my skin heat. “You weren’t scared? Or intimidated at all?”

“No,” I said quietly. “To my great surprise. I was more scared to ask you than I was to actually…. Do the deed.”

"Why would you be scared to talk to me?"

"It's sex," I blushed a bit. "I was very nervous. It was scary to know I was ready for it and wanted it. But you," I stared up, I think in wonder and awe. "Were just wonderful." it came out a whisper. 

“I’m really happy to hear that.” He kissed me again. “Are you ready to sleep?’

“Yes,” I exhaled.

“Climb in,” he crawled off me, into his sleeping bag. I smiled and shimmed in, not even feeling a bit embarrassed. He laced his arms around me as we laid on our sides. He kissed the top of my head, and squeezed my hands. “Good night Finley.”

“Night Harry,”

I drifted off, knowing, that this was something much more than anything I could have possibly bargained for.

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