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Somehow I made it through the entire school day. I was in the middle of a level of Candy Crush when Adrian finally got in the car.

"Damn child, what took so long?" I said, mostly focusing on a match. When I didn't get a reply, not even a snarky one, I locked my phone and looked up. My heart broke instantly. Adrian was crying. My baby brother was crying. "Whoa Ade, what happened."

"I love you Dan. I love you, and I'm so fucking happy you're here." His voice broke and he put his face in his hands. I turned my body and scooped him up to my chest.

"Shhhhh... I love you Ade." I rested my chin on his head, and I waited for his breathing to return to normal. We sat like this for a good 5 minutes before he spoke.

"Shane was bailed out. And everyone is saying that he isn't going to serve any time. They all think he's a hero, Dan."

"Where did you hear this?"

"In class, Cody and Kyle were talking loud enough for me to hear... I think they did it on purpose." He started hyperventilating again, and I hugged him tighter, squeezing my eyes shut. "They're saying it was self defense. Because you were going to kill Cody when you were beating him. And it doesnt fucking help that the cops found a gun in your car. Dan why are you so stupid?!" He was a mess. And I don't blame him. I'm just surprised that he's more worked up than I am.

"Adrian please calm down. Everything is going to be okay."

"No it's not. Not for me."

"You'll be fine, Ade."

"No. Because I'm the brother of the psycho faggot who tried to kill Cody."

"Excuse me." I pushed him off of me, dumbfounded.

"You heard me. That's what people are saying. It's humiliating."

"Oh. So you're humiliated to be my brother."

"Basically, yes." If he wasn't such a mess, and in hysteria, I probably would make him walk home.

"So one minute you love me, and you're happy i'm here, the next you want nothing to do with me. Cool." I laughed... To keep from crying. I drove home in silence, ignoring Adrian's sniffles and his sideways glances towards me.

When we got home, I was out of the car and unlocking the front door before Adrian even took off his seatbelt. I headed straight to my room, slamming the door.

I ran my fingers through my hair a few times, pulling on it out of frustration. Im just so sick of crying, I don't want to cry, not because of this. Even though this is probably a very justified reason.  My brother is embarrassed by me. Either because i'm a faggot or because i supposedly tried killing someone, or because of both.

My attempts to keep myself from crying failed miserably. I cried as I did my Calculus homework, I cried as I did my forensics homework, and I cried as I took a shower. I merely looked at the door when my mom knocked to tell me that dinner was on the table.

"I'm not hungry." I replied, burying my face back in my tear soaked pillow.

"I don't care, we're a family we're going to eat like one."

I laughed at the ironic fact that we're a family, and that's the exact reason that Adrian doesn't want to be affiliated with me. You could tell I've been crying. It's quite evident in my puffy red eyes, and runny nose.

I avoided Adrian's gaze when I walked into the dinning room. I took my place across from him, but I looked down at the table instead.


"Save it." I cut him off with my hand, still not bothering to look at him.

I stayed true to my statement, and just sat there, patiently waiting for the rest of them to finish eating, so I could go back to my self loathing position.  My mom tried asking what was wrong, but I just shrugged my shoulders, and played with my water.

When I went back to my room, my phone was ringing. I ran to pick it up, not even thinking to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi, Dan" It was Phil, thank god.

"What's up?" what's up? Really Dan?! I rolled my eyes at myself and layed down on the bed.

"I just wanted to hear your voice." Phil said quietly. It made me smile. After such a shit day, that simple sentence made it a little better.

"I've wanted to hear yours for a while, too." I replied, sighing.

"I'm sorry."

"Phil you don't have to apologize for anything."

"I know... but I'm still sorry for ignoring you today. I just didn't know what to say to you."

"It's fine... I would ignore me too." I tried to laugh, but it came out more as a choking sob.. as yet again I was crying.

"Dan are you okay?" I heard Phil's bed squeak, meaning he sat up.

"No... Phil. I'm anything but okay." And before I knew it I was shaking with sobs and struggling to catch my breath.  I heard Phil say something like "I'll be right there." before i dropped my phone on the floor, and proceeded to  curl into a ball, trying to relieve the pain in my chest.

speaking of pains in chests, i had one, whilst writing this entire chapter. don't worry, dan will be okay again soon, i promise!

i love you, you guys deserve this double update!!!!

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