It wasn't until I heard Clementine's soft voice apologize to someone that I noticed we had an extra person in the room. No, I thought as I dropped the burger back into the bag. She wasn't extra. She belonged here. She shouldn't have ever been gone from this place. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes, I don't think I'd ever get tired of looking at them.
I felt a prick in my heart, the wound that hadn't ever fully healed, and it only started to get worse as I realized she didn't even know who I was. Please. Please, Sweetie.
Please remember me.
I rolled my eyes slightly at Gabriel and Luke's bantering. Luke had a thing for distractions, which took my attention away from North. I'd been so close to asking him what was wrong since he didn't answer my question about his mission very well.
That could only mean he was thinking about Princess. I missed her so much I could barely look at my piano anymore, and when I did I played her favorite songs. It wasn't like the guys hadn't noticed, so much as they didn't say anything about it. The same way no one said anything about the significance of Tuesday night dinners.
I ate my fries slowly. How my parents would turn their noses at such poor people food. I ate another fry. It'd been the same amount of time in which I'd last seen her that I'd last seen them. Which suited my parents just fine because they could see I was in a rut, and they didn't want the press to get a hold of it. The tarnish to the family name, the shame of my hurt for the girl I loved- that would just ruin them. And not because I was in pain, but because the world would know about it.
Well, their world at least. I'd been given a substantial amount of money, one where I'd never have to work again, and neither would any of my brothers. We could all retire right now and not have to lift a finger for the rest of our lives, still having enough left over to give as inheritance.
I sighed slightly. For all of the things that I'd been through these past few months, my parents didn't care. The other guys knew how it felt of course, but the only one I wanted to talk to was gone. We'd erased her from everything but our memories. I'd been writing a song for her, though I couldn't get it just right. Maybe it was the thought that she'd never hear the song that kept me from completing it.
I heard Clemetine's gentle voice and I turned to look at her. But what I saw instead was the creature of every waking, and sleeping, thought I seemed to have. She didn't remember me of course, but it still stung when her eyes swept across my face and she didn't even pause. It didn't keep me from freezing indefinitely. My sweet princess, I thought because my mouth wouldn't work, I'm so sorry we couldn't slay your dragons. We failed you. Forgive us..
I watched as my best friend tortured himself with his thoughts. I knew he was thinking about her, thinking about aggele mou. What had brought these thoughts into his head, I wanted to know. Not to console him, no. That would have been unselfish of me. I wanted to know so that I could remember her like he was.
I could see it in his eyes, he was thinking of her. I could barely remember her and it was breaking my heart. My beautiful little angel was becoming something of a memory that I couldn't reach. The picture burning had been Mr. Blackbourne's idea. How could we move on if we we letting ourselves be stuck in the past.
We couldn't, he was right. I didn't want to move on, but I had to. It was easier when Clementine came around. She helped, she brought us back to a shade of normal we hadn't been in the months that we'd had neither Aggele nor Clementine, our little liakada. Our sunshine when it felt like the world was dark and bleak and grey forevermore.
I heard her voice and smiled slightly, trying to push the thoughts of aggele mou away as I turned to tell liakada the good news. I thought I was hallucinating at first. It wouldn't have been the first time. In fact the first time I'd thought I'd seen her I'd made myself go build until I couldn't feel my hands. Which was how we got the dining room set and the new shelves for the library. No one said anything about the way the design seemed to hold hearts. Small, hidden, but they were there.
I opened my mouth, and North must have known what I was going to say because he elbowed me hard in the ribs to keep me from saying it. Aggele. I grabbed onto the table for support, and let my eyes rake down her figure. This is why North had been so caught up in his thoughts. He hadn't been out to pick up Doctor Robert's friend. He'd been out to pick up the love that we'd chosen to let go- we'd chosen her over ourselves.
I doubt she'd ever see it that way, and I hated to see the way her eyes looked at us without any memory. She'd come to refresh mine just as I was losing it. The urge to run to her and scoop her up, to beg her to remember me was strong, but I wouldn't be forgiven by my brothers.
parakaló , ángelos , thymómaste .
(please, angel, remember.)
Fucking Luke and his goddamn shenanigans. I didn't know what he was up to but I'm sure he could have done better than ask me what the fucking burger tasted like. Shit. I rolled my eyes at him and ignored Mr. B-man as he tried to lecture me about swear words and whatnot.
Like I hadn't heard it before. I looked over at Luke to ask him what his deal was but his head was off in la la land. That's what I thought until I saw his eyes tear up a bit. I turned my face away so I wouldn't catch onto his thoughts but of fucking course I already had. Fuck me. I missed my Trouble so much.
Some days it was just too much and I had to go out. The first time I'd scared myself so bad. I'd almost ripped into the hospital and demanded Doctor Roberts to tell me where the fuck she was. Instead I found a store and I did the best kind of therapy. I went shopping. At first I didn't know what I'd shop for, not myself because I'd done that the other day. Before I knew it I was throwing shit in the cart for Trouble. I did it every other week, and while I'm sure Victor knew what the fuck I was up to, he didn't say shit about it. I had a whole storage shed full of shit for her, and I couldn't even see her in it. That wasn't even the worst part. I'd painted a picture of her and I based off of a picture on my phone before I'd had to delete them. It was under my bed stuffed into my box spring.
None of the others knew about it, and I didn't tell them. The couldn't know just how fucking weak I was compared to them.
Clemetine's voice snapped me out of it and I felt myself filled with such love and joy you wouldn't know I was missing Trouble like crazy. I looked over towards the beauty and my eyes snagged on something far more precious. Trouble. Just standing there like she didn't know how much Trouble she was causing this very instance.
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On My Own  Complete Fanfiction
Sang's been on her own for about seven months. She's also approximately... oh seven months pregnant. Not that the guys knew this when they made the decision that she was safer away from them and the chaos that the Academy brings. Sang's a clean sla...