Deadly Affairs- Chapter 11

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“Yeah, well you went through my shit how am I supposed to act?” Kellin yelled at me. We were in the kitchen and he had just found out I went through his journals and he wasn’t too happy about it.

“I know but it was just killing me not knowing.” I said.

“How about you ask! Better yet how about you just mind your fucking business! If I wanted you to know I would’ve told you!” he kept getting louder and his face was red from how angry he was.

“I have a right to know who I’m dating.” I said and I guess that sent him over the edge because the next thing I know I was having plates and glasses launched at my head. I guess we can check off that he has IED. He’s fucking crazy! His eyes were glazed over, like he was in another mindset and he just kept throwing dishes at me.

“Kellin! Stop!” I yelled. He was running out of dishes and the only thing left was silverware; forks, spoons, knives. I definitely couldn’t let him start throwing knives at me. Once he reached down I ran over to him and grabbed his arm trying to stop him but he just kept trying to fight me off. I felt something pushing against my chest but there was nothing there. Then I started to feel something pound against my chest, like a fist but I was holding his hands so he couldn’t be doing that. Nothing was making since, what the hell is going on?

Suddenly everything made since because once I felt a kick to my lower area. I awoke in Kellin’s room with my hands around his neck. I was dreaming and while I was dreaming, in real life I was trying to kill Kellin in my sleep. I immediately let go and he pushed himself off the bed and backed into a corner, coughing, holding his neck, and looking at me in fear. I didn’t know what to say, what could I say? Oh don’t worry it’s just a natural reaction? I knew I shouldn’t have had sex with him last night, I hadn’t killed anyone in so long my body is so tense and I knew it was a possibility that this could happen. So in the midst of trying to cover my own tracks for sneaking around and breaking into his house I put him in danger. It was a bad decision and now I feel even horrible because I was trying to figure out his problem and what was wrong with him but here I am choking him in my sleep. I guess I’m the one with the real issues.

I quickly got off the bed and put on my pants then ran downstairs grabbing my shirt and shoes then I left without a word. Once I got home I started to pace back and forth. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was so screwed and I usually have a way out of things but I don’t know. I just feel guilty and maybe if my emotions weren’t getting in the way I could play it off nonchalantly but it’s too late for that because I like him and I almost killed him. My thoughts were all over the place, nothing made sense. I stopped pacing when my phone rang.

“Hello.” I said.

“Hey, Jackass wants to know where you are.” Justin asked. I looked at the clock and saw I was already an hour late. He had Justin call me which was weird he usually will call to rip me a new one. I guess our conversation last night really shook him up.

“I’m on my way.” I hung up then quickly went into my room and changed my clothes. Once I was finished getting dressed I picked up my dirty clothes, that’s when the papers fell out of my jeans pocket. I paused then picked them up and stood there for a second. I walked over to the trash and threw them away. I wasn’t going to read them; my dream must’ve been a sign. If I read them he’ll find out so I won’t read them. When he wants to tell me he’ll tell me. He doesn’t owe me anything if anything I owe him something because of what happened this morning. I left out and headed to work. Once I got there I past my boss’ office and he looked at me then looked back down at the papers on his desk. If I knew that all I had to do was show him a piece of my sadistic side and he would leave me alone I would’ve done it a long time ago.

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