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Pen Your Pride

chapter 1

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Sitting upstairs in his bedroom Harry was listening to another argument between his mother and father. Covering his ears as best as he could he dropped onto the floor and curled up into a fetal position. He didn't understand what was going on between them lately but they were arguing every time they were in the same room together; all the quarrels ending with his father James leaving for the night and his mother in tears.

"James, please don't leave Harry needs his father" Lily shouted in tears as she watched him open the front door.

"I'm not his father Lily" James said as his eyes held firmly to hers

Running forward Lily took his arm "James please, don't leave us. Harry needs you... I need you; I love you"

Shaking his head he wrenched himself from her grasp "I'm sorry"

Collapsing to the ground Lily began shaking and crying "Oh god, what have I done." Lily began sobbing over and over as she rocked back and forth.

Looking out into the yard he shook his head in disappointment; getting to his knees he placed his hand on Lily's shoulder "Please don't let Harry see you like this. I'm sorry for everything that has happened between us but I can't pretend like nothing is wrong. He isn't my son, he's Severus' and I have to be honest for yours my and Harry's sake, I can't accept him like I used to before I knew" Lifting up her chin so he could look into her tear strewn eyes he forced a smile "I'll always be here when you need me, but as a friend" getting to his feet he made his way out the door "By Lily" James muttered before he walked over the threshold and turned on the spot disappearing into the night.

"Mum?" Harry said as he walked into the room "Where's dad gone? Is he coming back?" Walking over to his mother's side he sat on her lap.

"Honey, James isn't coming back" Lily whispered in a stressed voice as she cradled her 10 year old son in her arms.

It was Harry who this time broke into tears; he was expected to start Hogwarts in 1 month and he was looking forward to going into diagon alley and going to platform 9 ¾ for the first time with his father. Now it didn't seem like it was going to happen since his father was never coming back. Looking into his mothers' eyes he wiped away his tears "I thought dad was supposed to take me to get my school stuff and to meet the train"

"Harry, James isn't your father" Lily replied

Quieting down he looked at his mother confused "I don't quite understand mum, what do you mean he raised me"

Nodding her head she frowned "James helped me raise you but he didn't help to make you"

"Well then who is my father" Harry asked in a low voice

"Severus, Severus Snape is your father; he helped me make you" Lily closed her eyes and a memory swam through her mind.

Lily had just finished eating her dinner for the night and was cleaning up when a gentle rap sounded on the door drawing away her attention to her chores. Taking out her wand she gently waved it causing the door to open. A familiar male voice called her name "Lily?" it questioned. "In here, just cleaning up Severus" Lily replied

The memory shifted and she was now sitting down and talking "Severus, what brings you to call at such a time" Lily asked smiling. "I wanted to come see you, I need you to know how I feel before you marry him; I love you Lily and I want you to be my wife" Severus moved to her side "Please I beg you to reconsider your options" Leaning in he kissed her.

Shaking her head she opened her eyes and looked around a bit confused. The memory felt so real; like it happened just yesterday. Lily could feel his hands upon her like he was there touching her now.

"Mum; are you tired?" Harry questioned

"Yes... I suppose I could be; how about we go to bed you can sleep with mummy tonight" Getting to her feet she walked with Harry to her bedroom and laid down in her bed with Harry in her arms.

"Mum?" Harry said his voice fractured slightly by his yawn "When will I get to meet my real dad?"

With her eyes close she pushed back Harrys hair away from his eyes; catching his yawn she echoed it back "Soon my son... soon" she said gently. Thinking to herself she frowned slightly she wasn't sure how Severus would take the news; after all she wasn't just going to walk back into his life after 11 years and say Hi... she was going to be announcing he was a father to her son Harry Evans. What would he do; would Severus just leave her too or would he stay; with these words Lily Evans fell into a troubled sleep dreaming of the night they were together; the night Harry was concieved

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