Jokes and Other Funny Stuff

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Note: These jokes were not created by or belong to me. All the credit for creation and popularity goes to, well, the creators obviously.

Reichenbach Jokes (sorry but they’re hilarious)

Q: What do a desert and 221B have in common?

A: No Holmes.


Q: Did you hear that Sherlock made a song called “The Pavement?”

A: Yeah, it was a hit!

-------- (the next ones aren't Reichenbach related)

Moriarty: I WILL BURN some of my new scented candles, that will make it smell lovely in here.


Sherlock Holmes and John Watson go camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Sherlock woke John up and said: “ John, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” 

Watson replied. “ I see millions and millions of stars.”

Sherlock said. “ And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied. “ Well, if there are millions of stars and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there there might also be life.”

And Holmes said. “ John, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”


Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are busy at yet another complicated case. Suddenly, Sherlock seizes a chunk of blood-spattered limestone from the ground.

“ What is it, Sherlock?” asks Watson eagerly.

Holmes turns and replies gravely, “ It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.”


Sherlock: Yo mama so fat that her undiscovered heart condition and clogged aorta will stop her heart in her sleep and land her on a slab in the mortuary within three years during which time her heart will enlarge and her joints will deteriorate at an alarming rate for a woman of 42. Her organs will be up for donation, though frankly no one will accept them as their usage, or lack thereof, will be quite apparent; therefor I will confiscate her eyes, brain, heart, and liver and take them home in jars to the eternal chagrin of my flatmate. I look forward to meeting her...


Sherlock: Here you are, John, a nice hot cup of coffee.

John: It’s cold.

Sherlock: Nice cup of coffee

John: It’s horrible.

Sherlock: Cup of coffee.

John: I’m not even sure it is coffee.

Sherlock: Cup...


Then they handcuffed me and said, “ Anything you say can and will be held against you.” So I said, “ Benedict Cumberbatch.”

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