Things are just getting worse.

Prologue

My name is Samuel Smith. I am in my 10th year of high school. Today everything changed.

I was sitting in math class staring at the clock waiting for the bell to finally ring. The seconds seemed to drag on and the echo of the ticking got louder and louder. From the corner of my eye I saw a glimmer of pure white teeth. I turned to see the heartbreakingly handsome brother of mine. It was hard to believe we were twins. My mouth slowly opened to ask him what he was doing in my class, which, mind you, had gone awfully quiet since he came in, but I closed it when I recognized the silent warning in his silver blue eyes. There was something private he had to share with me. We both knew it.

Standing up from my chair I took my books and followed him out of the classroom leaving my gaping classmates and awe-struck teacher behind.

“Bro, you alright?” I almost (as shameful as it is to admit) squeaked at him as he pinned me against the wall in the empty bathroom stall.

“Sam.” His voice cracked and his eyes dropped to the floor.

“Seth? Wha—“ I barely had time to speak before his lips smashed down on mine in an almost painful kiss. He pulled away, his hands still pinning my shoulders to the wall. They were definitely going to bruise.

“Now I’ve told you okay?” Seth met my eyes, a small blush creeping over his cheeks as he looked feverishly over me. “Now you know.” Before I could utter a reply he kissed me again, softer this time, but still rough.

Fuck this is wrong! So wrong… Wrong.

But wait. I love wrong. I always do the wrong. But this… this is too much… No I want this.

After what seemed like centuries I kissed him back just as rough, moving us in unison so he was pinned against the wall. As Seth’s arms fell from my shoulders I took both his hands in one of mine and held them over his head, while I brought my other hand to his neck and in a choking grip (not hard enough to hurt him or anything), held him there, separating our lips I touched my forehead to his.

Closing my eyes slowly I breathed in the sent of his minty breath, our lips occasionally brushing. We both stood their, silent. Feeling each other’s emotions. Being so close to my twin I could feel his pulse, almost hear his thoughts. Something was wrong and it hurt, so much. That’s when I heard it.

A sob.

What is it about the sound of someone you love crying?

Is it set to a frequency that instantly breaks your heart?

I don’t know what is worse. The fact I knew why he was crying and couldn’t ask because I knew what would become of us if he told me, or the fact that I didn’t know how to make him stop. How to make the hurt he was feeling go away.

“Sammy!” He sobbed as I released him and held him in my arms, his tears soaking my neck as he buried his face into the crook.

“She’s fucking dead man. Dead… fuck oh fuck…” He shook and cursed, unseen tears streaming down my own cheeks as I sobbed with him.

After a lifetime of crying and me hushing my other half in my arms we broke apart and he swallowed anything else was going to say only to whisper,

“She’s gone.”

Chapter 1.

Something makes me hate everything.

The funeral went by like a dream. I didn’t cry as I watched my mother’s coffin being lowered into the deep dark grave. I just held my twins icy hand in my own, our free hands resting on either side of our sister’s shoulders. Before I knew it, it was my time to say a few words for her. I hadn’t planned anything, unlike my siblings.

Taking my place in front of the gravestone I spoke,

“I take it you’re all here because you’re family, friends or just showing your respect. For those of you who truly knew my mu— Rose, for the person she was, would know she was a humble, kind, beautiful woman, inside and out,” I looked over the pale faces of my loved ones, and even faces I didn’t know and forced a smile as I swallowed tears, “When she got diagnosed with leukemia…” I paused, blinking to keep the water from falling, “Seth, Bella, Charlie and many others including myself, stood by her. All but one stood by her. Now, I’m sure you all may of heard- my father took most of our money and in mum’s time of need… the old bastard took off!” I wasn’t looking at anyone now, just looking past the faces. “He got her to sign the divorce papers and took all our money with ‘im!” A sarcastic chuckle escaped my lips. “Now, my mother being the person she was, she turned to me and said, ‘Now listen here Sam. I want you to understand why he is doing this. I always told him, if you want to leave me, you can. I am not going to stop you. I love your father and I will love him till the day I die. He may not be a great man to you, but to me he is. He stood by me all these years and to be perfectly honest, I’m surprised he didn’t leave sooner!’ When she said that I myself broke down into tears. A woman as caring and big-hearted as her being betrayed by the man she loved. I don’t know what’s sadder. Loving someone SO much… you’d let them slip away so they can be happy, or hating someone,” I sob and catch my breath, “that you leave them when all they need to get better is you… Today we’ve lost an amazing person. My mother wasn’t always the strongest of the lot, but when it came to love… she’d suit up in armor and be the first on the battlefield.” I met my twins eyes and we shared a long gaze before I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around both my siblings.

“I love you both, I’m going to take care of you now.” I whispered. “I promise, I promise.”