Caring

V

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, his arms falling from the stiff way he had crossed them down to his sides and his face relaxing in the cold sun.

It's at times like this when James allows himself to be transported back into the past he so desperately wants to forget.

It's at times like this when James lets all the memories flood into his mind like the sides of a dam breaking after the pressure had built up.

It's at times like this that James doesn't mind the burning ache in his heart or the pain pulsing through his veins.

It's at times like this that James remembers her.

•

They were returning to the US, back to California, where it all started. They were both feeling nostalgic as they boarded the plane, both in awe of how just a few months of their first show had transformed their lives. James Reid and Nadine Lustre were now common household names and the recognition they were receiving was like nothing before. The support and the fans were ever increasing. Everything was finally going well for the two of them and they were so grateful that this journey was theirs together.

After a short interview at the airport, they had checked in and were now sat beside each other on the plane, immersed in their own world.

He was distracted from his train of thoughts when Nadine glanced at him and smiled. The type of smile that had made his heart do a double take and made his palms sweaty. He raised his eyebrows, asking her to explain but she just shook her head in response and took his hand. It was awkward with the arm rest in between them but she had intertwined their fingers and rested her head on his shoulders. He remembers relaxing into her touch and turning his head so he could bury his nose into her hair.

James had never felt so at home than he did when she was beside him.

They stayed in that position for while, neither of them speaking until the plane began turning around on the runway, preparing to take off.

"This is it," she whispered. Her hands tightened around his and despite her denial when he'd asked on previous occasions, James knew Nadine was afraid whenever the plane began setting off. She would mutter a few prayers under her breath and her body would tense up. Accordingly to her it was just "a typical human response to the dangers of flying".

He rubbed little circles on the back of her hand in an attempt to soothe her and whispered back with the same sentimental tone.

"This is it."

•

The memory sends a shiver down his spine and he knows it's not from the cold. His hands go numb despite the thick, woolly gloves he decided to wear that morning.

Oh how he wishes he could slip his hand into hers right now and hold her close.

Oh how he wishes he didn't take those moments for granted.

•

They were shooting in San Francisco,  a swarm of fans around them each day. Nadine hadn't been feeling too well - the plane journey had tired her out and the menstrual cramps weren't helping either.

James couldn't help but worry over her. He'd constantly ask if she was okay, if she was hungry or if she was cold. His forehead would wrinkle with concern whether it be on set when she was sad and gloomy - unlike her normal, bubbly self - or whether it be at the hotel.