Chapter Twenty-One: I'm As Stable As Nana Stone After Three Shots of Tequila
"A little to the left, that's it! Perfect, hold it there."
My cheeks hurt from having to maintain that, 'coy yet girl next door' smile on my face that I'd been told to give to the camera. It's been five hours since we arrived at the studio and far be it from them to actually give Cole and I are break. He'd been set to work the moment he arrived while I was prepped for the interview by his agent.
An agent I detest.
The agent whose name is not in fact Steve and Steve who happens to be a very nice man hired by my grandfather to watch over the family as the campaign gets slightly ugly. I feel like Steve might come in handy if I ever try and kill Raymond 'The Dick' Dickson, and need help hiding his body. Because Steve for one looks like a man who has buried several bodies.
The Dick, who happens to be Cole's agent is currently listing all the things I am not allowed to talk about which means basically 90% of my life. It's nice to know I've led such a controversial and unspeakable life up until this point, it'll be a nice story to tell the grandchildren.
"Hey kids, here's an interesting fact about your Great Uncle Jay" or my personal favourite, "You'd never believe this but back in the day our housekeeper Nicole used to be..."
Yes, Nicole has again been relegated to the doghouse because of her brilliantly misfired attempt of actually helping me. This fake breakup has been more of a headache than actually being constantly under attack by the football floozies. Going back to the checklist The Dick oh wait, I'm sorry Raymond has been going over with me I try and attempt to forget the following:
My brother, him ever being kicked out of college and his love for a good old shot of Tequila or you know, five.
My father, who of course has done the family name proud in the past with his public affairs with women old enough to be my sisters. That and the fact that my mother went to town with the secrets of their failed marriage. Do people really want to know that she caught him with their housekeeper in the laundry room? I think not.
My mother, no further explanation needed.
Weight. How much I weighed or how I lost it. Anything that remotely makes people think I'm less of a quarterback girlfriend-bot.
Something else that I'm probably forgetting and will likely blurt out later on.
"You guys really complement each other, some fantastic symmetry there." The photographer changes our position and continues to take multiple shots that blind me. He moves me in front of Cole and has him wrap his arms around my waist.
"I want you to look into the camera and channel a little Darcy mixed in with some Thor?"
"I'm sorry what?" My sweet, sweet boyfriend doesn't really speak fangirl language so I help him out a bit.
"You need to look at the camera like you wan't to pummel someone but still look sexy and hurt while doing it."
"Is that even possible?"
"Of course it is babe, haven't you seen all those magazines in my room that have Ryan Gosling on the cover?"
"I have." He mutters begrudgingly because Cole has never been a fan of my obsession with the fine, fine male specimen.
"Just try and pretend you're him and we'll have all the cheerleaders climbing out of the their skirts to get to you." I say that a little darkly than anticipated and Cole picks it up but before he can point it out, our photographer thankfully yells that I'm a genius and the Gosling look is exactly what he's looking for.
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