What does it mean to be normal? Ordinary? What are the requirements, the standards people have to follow? Who sets these standards? Why do people follow them? What’s the whole purpose? As you can see, there is not a correct answer to any of these questions. So, why is it that humans discriminate? What separates one person from the other? Since there are no answers, would I be at fault to say that I am like any other person, just a teenage girl in high school, living with a family and sleeping in a bed? No. I think not. Yet, there is a distinctive line between any other girl at my school and myself. Why? Another good question. Maybe it’s because they have a strict set of standards for what they call normal or ordinary. Why don’t I fall into those standards? Who made these standards?
It’s been my goal for quite some time to understand everything about these standards and hate between people. After many years, I have yet to find a solid answer to a majority of my questions. To this day, my research goes on, unnoticed by anyone around me but still in process. Taking in data as I observe arguments on the road and monitor emotions of the people around me. One thing that I have come to realize is that it all originates from the human mind. Everyone has different guidelines of what they consider normal and that is what separates us. Take a pair of identical twins for example. Now, just because these two look alike, doesn’t mean they are the same person. These siblings may or may not have grown up together but either way their environments and experiences will differ at times. They will develop their own sense of what they believe is normal based off of what they experience, who they meet, and where they go. This is when the general idea of ‘normal’ comes into play.
For a small town, where most people have similar backgrounds, a idea of what average, or normal is, forms. But what about the girl that moves into town with a different background. A girl with no blemishes, no scars, no hate and no love. A girl that feels no pain, emotion or has no past. A girl with a fake family and one friend. For that small town, where every other girl has blemishes, scares, hate, and everything that girl doesn’t, she wouldn’t be ‘normal,’ ‘ordinary’ or ‘average.’ But that hardly seems fair, doesn’t it. That is just how she is. That’s just how I am. That’s how I have lived so why isn’t it normal?
When I meet someone, I tell them my name, my adopted parent’s name, where I’m from and what I’m like. Almost everyone I’ve met seemed to be interested in the first three things I say but it’s the last part that causes confusion or almost immediate dislike. I’m so used to this reaction, that I can almost see their opinion of me forming in their minds. Heartless bitch. I know this because shortly after introductions, their thoughts are voiced. No, I don’t introduce my self by saying I have no hate or love, to make people angry, I think they should know what I’m like.
I’m interested in trying to understand why everyone hates that about me. Most of all, I want to meet someone who doesn’t let that fact effect them. Sorry. I got carried away. I should have explained myself before jumping straight into thought. I am Emily Dugoni. My adopted parents are Teresa and Joel Callaway. I don’t know where I lived before I was adopted and moved here. All I know is that I now live here in Altenburg, Missouri. I have no hate and I have no love. In general I don’t feel any emotion what so ever. I don’t remember anything about my life before I was adopted. Now back to my thoughts.
With the small amount of facts that I have found with the extensive research into human psyche, I realized there shouldn’t be a word such as ‘normal.’ Why? Because everyone is different. Most of us come from different backgrounds and our standards of ‘ordinary’ are always going to be different, they may be similar but they will always vary. Amazingly enough though, and despite all these facts, words like those still exist. The part that I have been trying to figure out is why it does. What’s the purpose of laying lines between different people? Why cause that hate and discrimination? Do people understand the consequences of those boundaries? Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not a communist. I believe difference is what makes everyone who they are. It’s the source of all their dreams. I just want to know why humans make those differences a bad thing.