Reita x Reader: 『Appearance』

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"Please? Whilst you're at home at least."

He threw a disappointed glare at me as he tried to walk away.

"I told you no! I'm not taking it off. Why can't you respect that?"

"I-I do you know I do but-"

Before I could let a reason slip, he left me there. Standing alone in the hallway of our apartment, watery-eyed and frustrated. As I watched him wander away to the bedroom I began to softly whimper at my foolishness as my back slid down the wall in agony. My dripping eyes painting my pink cheeks.

"Why do you hide yourself from me... I love you."

Hopelessly I dropped my head to my knees. My arms wrapping around my shivering legs. I didn't understand why he was so insecure around me, in a way I felt discriminated against. Left out. I was the only one blind to his true presence. It injured me, it killed me.

Why can't he trust me?

I continuously pondered on the fact of trust, thinking that it was a foreign concept to him. It couldn't have been. He trusted his friends enough to let them know all there was to himself. Ruki, Aoi, Uruha and Kai. I feel a slight tinge of jealousy when I hear those names. I don't hold anything negative against them, I just hate the fact that they know more about Reita than I probably ever will. I understand their long lasting friendship has allowed trust to build overtime but I should be part of that structure. I'm his girlfriend for fuck sake! I don't get it. Why even waste my time?

I just sat there in the hall, head lowered quietly sobbing into my hands and knees. Desperately trying to compose myself I scanned our dim and dull apartment, vision blurry and misty from the relentless tears. I wiped my burning eyes with my fingers only to clothe them in smudgy black makeup. We were both being childish, two kids arguing over a precious possession like a toy or something; He had what I wanted, wouldn't give it to me, so I kicked up a fuss. I respect that it's his decision to hide but the fact that he's escaping me is making me grow tiresome and sick.

Remembering when I first met him. It was Ruki who introduced us, I had known him for a good portion of my time already. Seeing Reita at first sparked many questions;

'Why do you wear that band?'

That was the most important one at the time, he was an intriguing character to say the least. When I discovered the truth behind his calling, the nose band, I tried so hard to catch a glimpse of what was underneath. A nose couldn't be that bad could it? I doubt it's deformed or anything unfortunate like that. The guy's just insecure.

After a short time I gave up. He was pretty sharp at sensing when I was in the room or around him, which was unusual. When I was close by I could see him tense up as if he were uncomfortable or nervous. That intrigued me also. I wasn't spying on him I was just waiting for that glorious moment of the full face reveal. But instead of that I got a frozen statue, it was like being stuck in a time loop. It would always happen.

Of course it all fitted together when he asked if I'd like to come over to his place once he was finished with work on that beautiful mid Spring day. I remember it so well. The end of April was approaching, it was a particularly hot afternoon when I got that text. It may have been just a simple message to anyone else, but for me... It lifted the whole world from my shoulders.

I was no longer afraid of rejection.

Reita was only in the studio for half of the regular working day so he was home by around late afternoon. I bolted out my door and rushed for the train station as soon as he told me he had got home. I felt like a giddy school girl helplessly in love, I still felt a bit of disbelief that he had asked to spend time with me and it only got me more psyched to see him.

Once I arrived at his door step I had to pause for a moment , I may have broken his door down from my excitement. I calmed down and gently tapped his apartment door counting the seconds it took for him to answer. God knows why...

And there he stood, gorgeous as ever. With his beautiful blonde, spiky hair, eye makeup, cool but casual outfit and his expression. It was shy but welcoming. And to no surprise he still wore a band around his face, but that was something I could look past at that moment. I was still getting over the fact of how good he looked, how he always looked. I didn't realize how madly in love I was with him until then.

The time we spent together that day consisted of endless nonsensical chatter, snacking and laughs. It was something I had always enjoyed with my old high school friends but I had forgotten the feeling of it when I lost contact with them. It was nostalgic, though it was with a newer friend, a loved one. I had never seen Reita so happy in my few months of knowing him at the time. He was actually smiling genuinely, I made him do that. How it made me feel as though I had value to someone.

The most detailed part of this memory is when we awkwardly paused after a few laughs about a topic I couldn't remember for the life of me. Oddly, the pause was quick. It had only felt like a second or two when I suddenly felt warm lips touch my own. It was a blur. Overwhelming. All I could do was return the feeling, deepening our kiss. That's when I realised how much I wanted him. It wasn't just some fling, phase or short term crush.

It was real.

That memory is something I'll never let my mind discard. Every time I let it play through I'm reminded of how much Reita means to me. I won't let this silly act of childishness, of hiding, ruin what we have.

From the corner of my still watering eyes I noticed his bedroom door begin to crack open. I didn't bother looking to the side to check if he was there, I was too much of a mess to look anywhere but up, down or centre. A sharp pain attacked my neck from holding my head lowly for so long, it thumped as I could feel his footsteps grow closer to my still shivering self. A silhouette in his shape. It kneeled down, shamefully.

"(Y/n)."

The cold but safe hand reached out for me. It touched a cheek. His contact with my skin cleared my poor vision, calming me down, making me realize.

His nose.

I could see, clear as day. A bridge, two nostrils, a normal appearance. I was amazed it didn't strike me as bizarre to see his true face. I was so used to the nose band I thought seeing a nose on his face wouldn't even suit him. But it was the most natural and beautiful thing I'd seen. It may sound stupid to you, to see another's nose, but this was ground breaking for me. For us.

Tears still persisted to drip but these tears weren't negative any longer. They felt warm and gave me such light.

"It suits you so well."

I sniffed while holding a finger to its tip, feeling trust again. He let a small laugh escape. A rare type of laugh, it was genuine.

"It's just my nose, no big deal is it?"

Running my fingers through his messy blonde hair I tilted my head, smiling with puffy eyes.

"That's exactly why it's a big deal, it's your nose."

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I wonder if a fan has actually gone up to Reita and pulled down his nose band... Like some psycho
(^)

So I've done one chapter for each member, I'm not sure who I'll do next I'll make it a surprise.

Don't forget to vote, comment, subscribe, reblog, like, share, retweet, link, e-mail tell friends on MySpace or whatever you kids do these days idk...

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ありがとう、愛してる。
~Cait

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