chapter eleven

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Today's song is Rihanna Only Girl in the world! Just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone reading, voting, commenting! We're at 310 in Non- Teen fiction and 507 in Romance lets hope one day we'll get to number 1! So just a BIG thank you to everyone! I know it may not seem like a lot to you but just even being 310 away from 1 is good enough for me, so thank you all so much! And I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! 

Monday rolled around quicker than ever and all I wanted to do was hide under my quilt and blow of work, I however couldn’t do that I couldn’t show Jack how much his message hurt because as soon as I thought we was getting somewhere actually taking notice of what we was doing he takes it away from me, and now … now I was begging to feel empty and I – I didn’t like that one bit. Was it love? Hell fucking no! But did I miss how he made me feel both physically and mentally  - yes, he made me feel as if I was the only girl in the world and he made me feel special for the very first time in ages and now that was what I was missing – I missed being special, important to someone to be looked at in such a way my heart stopped, to be told how beautiful I was and to be cared for.

I sigh slumping my feet on the floor of my bedroom, it was a state I had been depressing myself over the weekend indulging in food as comfort aye I guess the diet was now over? Standing up I trip over a Ben and Jerry’s tub of ice cream I had discarded with the rest of the rubbish I hadn’t cleaned up like a slob. But no, no more my time of moping over Jack it was over I couldn’t let him have this much effect on me it was scary, today I was turning over a new leaf and all that crap and even though I didn’t want to be with Jack I was still going to go through with the whole Kirk/date thing to make him realise what he had missed out on and okay so maybe I wanted his affection back but Kirk was right I needed to get back out on the market and date, I had used College as an excuse not to date but now, maybe now was the right time.

Even though Taco guy wasn’t as rich and good looking as Jack he liked me, really liked me and hell I guess that was enough for me. Avoiding the clothes Jack had brought me from that very first time he had kissed me, I close my eyes and realise how involved he was in my life and I couldn’t help but feel frustrated and annoyed that even when I didn’t want him there he was everywhere. Picking out my Black dress I wore at my graduation I add my white lace blazer and some killer black hells. And for the very first time I did my make up properly for once, not of that quick splash here I’m in a rush type make – up. No, I sat down at my dresser and based my olive skin with my foundation, also adding concealer for once to cover the bags under my eyes, I also used a high lighter for once and I instantly felt better I looked full of life and dear God should I say I actually looked quite hot! Adding a splash of black mascara and being daring apply a cherry red lipstick to my lips – Jacks favourite colour.

Just hand fluffing my hair I deem myself ready and step out into the kitchen to pour myself a coffee, Kirk for once was already up and had stopped eating as I entered. “It’s too much isn’t it?” I say as his eyes wonder from my face down my body to my heels back up to my face.

“No …. I tell you now J if I wasn’t gay I would be hoping this date was real … wow. Why don’t you dress like this more often? You look … Fabulous.” I could feel a blush creep up into my cheeks and head for the coffee pot thank God it was still hot!

“Well urm thanks Kirk.” Sipping on my coffee I steal a bagel off his plate.

“Hey that’s mine! Just because your sassy ass look’s smoking hot doesn’t mean you can steal my food.”

“I’m in a rush I need to catch the train for seven twenty!” I begin to gather my folders and satchel with my laptop inside off it.

“Umm have you got Alzheimer’s? You have a hot smoking car for a hot smoking lady outside!” I heave the bags they were becoming heavy.

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