Welcome Newbie // Phan

Realisation ~ Part 1

Dan's POV

Have you ever felt like you really want to kiss someone and yet you have no other feelings about them? Romantically I mean.

Or you just want to be in their comforting presence and yet you are not even sure that you are friends?

Welcome to my life!

I just... Ever since that day at my house, I have just wanted Phil nearer to me than the others. Not because I am jealous of them, I just... Want him, ya know?

I do not know how to put it exactly. It has been a entire week since that day and these /things/ have felt stronger than before.

Monday

"Hey Dan!" Phil smiles at me from his garden as we both leave for school. My stomach flutters.

"Hey Phil, walk to school together?" I smile back. He gives me a confidence that I haven't felt since I moved to Blackbird. I know the cliché of butterflies means you like them but if I like him, why am I so confident? I have played enough Yandere Simulator to know that you should get shy around Senpai.

"Sure, Music?" We have both reached my garden gate as he extends his hand with the second ear bud in towards me. As I go forth to accept his offer, the upturn slab at the end of my garden path betrays me as I fall face forward out of the gate into-- Phil's arms?

A black ear bud swings side to side next to me whilst two hoodie sleeves keep me upright. Am I meant to be feeling like I am flying? The sensation is weird as though I no longer need to care about how heavy I am; as though I am weightless, carefree.

Upwards I go as Phil lifts me up and out of his arms, I am almost disappointed.

"You okay there, mate?"

Mate. The word echoes in my head. Mate. We are friends? Mate. Do I want to be happy about it? Mate. Why do I feel like a ton of bricks has just hit me? Mate.

We walk to school listening to My Chemical Romance in a comfortable silence. Nothing is said about what just happened. I do not tell him the confusing feelings I just felt and he does not seem to be showing any of the same reaction I did.

Just before we hit the school gates and we drift of into our classes, he turns towards me and says "Brilliant sleepover by the way" with a wink and toddles to his class.

Jaw agape, I stand staring at the place where flirty Phil just stood. My mind's cogs are rotating and colliding so fast I think they might become detached and race off somewhere else. Could Phil be referencing those times he fell asleep on me?

The bell screams out that it is time to go to class only for me to realise that my class is on the opposite side of where I am. No wonder Phil left so early while I was standing, staring into space for 5 minutes.

----

I rush into English a few minutes after the second bell. My abrupt entrance causes several dirty glares in my direction, I didn't know how many people were passionate about English, but my eyes were only focused on one devilish grin.

Apologising to everyone, I sit down at my seat, luckily my teacher is pretty chill when it comes to lates as long as they are not over 5 minutes. My eyes still glaring at Phil, but now at the back of his head as PJ sat behind Phil and I am not sitting next to Phil in this mood.
Though he seems quite preoccupied with the girl sitting next to him, annoyed may I add. She is doing everything to get his attention, twirling her hair, batting her eyelashes, even whipping her hair into his arm, but Phil stares into the front board, completely oblivious to the girl trying to flirt with him. I laugh slightly, I bet she doesn't know he is gay, it is understandable why she likes him though, he is quite handsome...