Chapter 20 - Different

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My heart was racing and not in a good way. He looked so angry. A vein on his neck was standing out; his eyes were brooding and dark, very dark. He had his beanie on, and his jacket buttoned up. His nostrils flared, he just stared at me. I was frozen.

“Well?” he glared. “What the fuck? Everyone knows, every damn person knows not to come the hell back here. Where the hell do you get the nerve to come in here?” I was just staring. “Now is not the time to clam up,” he snatched the sketch pad away, roughly. “You can be rude in notes, start talking in person.”

“I-I,” I couldn’t find my voice, I felt paralyzed. He let out a frustrated groan, and took out a pen and flipped to a clean thing of paper. I quickly wrote something down; he read it back to me.

‘I came in here to find you. I didn’t like how you blew me off. I’m confused. You were about to kiss me yesterday, the next day you tell me we can’t even talk anymore? I don’t understand.’ He stared. “That doesn’t give you the right to go through my personal space.” I nodded. “Fucking talk Finley, I’m not going to hurt you.”

I sucked in a breath, knowing he wouldn’t. “I-I’m sorry.” I breathed. “I d-don’t… I don’t w-want u-us to st-stop t-talking.”

‘I think we should.” He put the painting of us under the tree away.

“W-Why? Why nearly k-kiss me last n-night and b-blow me o-off?”

“It’s complicated. You’re the type of person to have friends, I’m not.”

‘I… I don’t think I-I can be f-friends with a-anyone but you.”

“Why?” he stared. I opened my mouth but he held up his hand. “Calm down, your stuttering like hell,” I nodded, taking a breath. My fingers were shaking, I laced them together.

“You understand what I’m g-going through.” I mumbled. “Harry… you don’t have any inside jokes that I feel l-left out of. You don’t have all these m-memories that I’m just a guest in. You’re just y-yourself, and you’re u-untainted by everyone else who is so… w-watered down and a c-clone.” I looked up at him. ‘I-I didn’t mean to go into your space, I was h-honestly just coming here to try to… be your friend, or save whatever this was but clearly you don’t l-like me. I-I mean I get it, I-I’m really boring, I-I’m really pale and just… n-not the type you g-go for I guess. I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll leave you a-alone.” I stepped back and opened the door. “T-Thank you for drawing me. I actually looked… b-beautiful. I didn’t know people could s-see me like that, or m-make me like that.”

I started out of the school, actually feeling kind of sad. I think I had been getting a little, tiny, crush on him. How could I not? He was so handsome, different, his deep voice, talent, just… Harry, he was different. I started up my driveway, my heart heavy with rejection, when I heard a truck pull up behind me.

“You piss me off.” He shouted, stepping out and slamming the door.

“Why?”

“You barely speak, but when you do, you say things that are shocking. No one at this school has ever, I mean ever, had the balls to call me rude or a jerk, to my face, or shout at me down the hall like you did, it’s all behind my back I’m sure. You’ll make these little comments, sarcastic or not, in person or in your notes. You nearly let me kiss you, but clam up when we really get into a conversation, then you say shit that I…” He trailed off. “What kind of girl are you?”

“I’m s-still trying to f-figure that out myself.”

“You really don’t see yourself as a beautiful girl, honestly?”

“I’m a-average. I’m not tan like the girls here, or a-athletic, with that kind of body t-type. I’m soft. I don’t know, I never w-worried about that stuff till I m-moved here.”

He shook his head. “Do you grasp how different that is?”

‘Not really. You’re d-different too you k-know.”

“How?”

“Y-You’re artistic, but won’t show you’re a-ability. Clearly, you l-like me, or you wouldn’t have been d-drawing us. You… you rescued me from the bad guy without even t-telling me who you were so I could thank you. You say strange things, go through my l-locker, do things I don’t understand. You’re an o-odd duck.”

He smiled. “Odd duck, who the hell talks like that?”

I fumbled with my fingers, staring at them. “I do.”

“What do you want from me Finley?”

“I’d l-like to get to know you…. I’d like… for you…” I waited, opening my mouth, but no words came out. I nearly winced because I couldn’t speak.

“Spit it out.”

I looked up at him, feeling a bit helpless. “K-Kiss me,” I half whispered, finally.

“Kiss you?” I nodded, blushing a bit. “You’re sure?” I nodded.

He walked toward me with ease, and resumed that same position as the night before. The hold he had on my head was so gentle, and warm. He glided his soft lips over mine, his breath falling into my own lungs. I didn’t even have a chance to move them, I was still shocked as I stood in darkness, only feeling him. He inhaled and I felt him connect his to mine fully. I felt this intense wave of just… joy, giggly, smiling happiness. It was a first kiss after all.

I slowly moved my lips back gently, only for a few moments. He pulled away after the delicate kiss ran its course, but he still held me, actually bringing me closer.

“That’s all there is to it.” He breathed out, his green eyes were gazing right into mine. They were so pretty, and I felt like I could have stood there all day. 

“That’s k-kissing.”

“That’s only a glimpse of kissing.”

“When I k-know you better… you could… paint me the w-whole picture.”

He smirked and nodded. “When I know you better.”

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