Seventeen

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"And you're sure your okay to do this?" Marius asked for the tenth time.

"Yes."

"You don't have to go if it's too much, Marius can step in."

"I'm fine Rosà," I pulled on my jacket before slipping on my boots. "You two need to stop worrying."

As I reached for my scarf I could feel their eyes on me, burning a hole into my back. I didn't blame them, not really, after all I knew if I was in their shoes I wouldn't be wanting me to go.

It had been a few days since I had drank Marius' blood and fallen asleep in his arms and now I had healed, the monster inside still hiding in the shadows, I felt more like myself for the first time in months.

Marius had been spending a lot of his time with me and Rosà and if he wasn't here trying to keep me in bed, he was out retrieving blood bags to keep our fridge stocked. Noah was most likely less than impressed and I couldn't stop the small pang of satisfaction that came with that small piece of knowledge.

"Let me come with you at least then."

Rosá's soft voice brought me from my dwindling thoughts and I blinked, looking up to find her shuffling closer.

"What about that date with your friend tonight?"

She dismissed my words with the flick of her wrist. "Oh that can wait, really it can, I'm sure he wouldn't mind all too much."

"Are you sure?" I raised an eyebrow and headed towards the front door. "Haven't you been really excited about seeing this lover boy of yours?"

Rosá blushed and I couldn't help but flash her a grin.

"He's not my lover boy, child." She pursed her lips. "He's just a very close friend of mine and we-"

"I will go with him."

We turned our attention to the vampire who hadn't said anything since we began talking. He was wearing that stony expression of his yet his eyes seemed to dance with an emotion that had his whole face lighting up.

No longer did he look like a blood thirsty killer... Well... Not really.

"Will you actually get him there? That's the question."

Now it was my turn to blush and I couldn't help but think back to the first attempt of going to interrogate the prisoner. We hadn't gotten far before Marius had snagged my hand and pulled me into a dark alleyway, hidden by the shadows as he then dropped to his knees and took me in his mouth.

That night all I could remember was it being filled of passionate touches and moan filled whispers, the woman Marius and Rosá had taken from that house long forgotten when Marius' lips found mine and I melted under his rough touch.

"Yes, I will get him there." I could hear the smile in his voice. "You can't blame a man for getting distracted..."

Rosá huffed and rolled her eyes. "Alright fine, as long as you actually get there, we cannot keep the human indefinitely." She came closer to brush her soft lips against my cheek. "Be careful okay? I'd like you to come back in one piece this time."

I sent her a reassuring smile before gesturing to Marius and then heading out the door and out into the sun.

We walked in silence until we had rounded the corner of the street and then Marius linked his fingers through mine and we soon fell into step. "The way she carries on, it's as if she is your mother."

"I'm glad she isn't," I let my gaze wander to the strangers that we passed, "She was rarely kind to me, only when it suited."

Marius squeezed my hand gently. "What happened?"

I thought back to my human years, to when I was growing up. One memory in particular stood out and I couldn't help but relive it, cringing as I did so.


My mum was humming softly to herself as she combed out her long, dark mane. She was sat by the beautiful white dresser she owned, I remember because the scent of lilac filled my nose and she always kept her perfume on there along with a fresh vase of flowers.

I had been fourteen when it happened, when I knew what I was. I had opened up and told my best friend at the time, them being them had told me that I needed to tell my parents, that it would be better in the long run.

Oh how wrong they had been...

"Mum."

Her gaze flickered from her hair to me in the mirror. "Yes?"

I shifted on the spot by the door, fiddling with my fingers. "There's something I-I need to tell you."

"You know you can tell me anything."

I watched as she went back to combing her hair, the rising fear having my throat closing up. With stiff limbs, I headed deeper into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, hands in my lap as I picked at the skin beside my nails.

"I uhmm, I've been wanting to tell you this for some time now but I didn't know how to bring it up."

I could feel her gaze rest on me before she set her brush down. "What is it Payton?"

Feeling like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, I whispered softly. "I think I'm gay."


"What?"

Clearing my throat, I forced myself to meet her fiery gaze. "I mean, I know that I'm gay." She opened her mouth to speak yet I was so nervous that I began to babble, talking over her in a haste to make her understand better. "I wanted to tell you sooner but I was scared that you would freak out and-"

"My son... Likes boys."

Instantly, I could hear the disgust in her voice and tears welled up in my eyes. "It's nothing bad, you said yourself that I could tell you anything, you still love-"

"Do you have any idea what this will do to my reputation if anyone finds out about your sick delusions?" She hissed through clenched teeth and rose from her seat with grace. "Our family will be the laughing stock of the village!"

I bit my lower lip and looked down, staring at her red painted toe nails.

"How could you," She went towards the door and shoved it open, "How could you do this to me!"

"I didn't choose to be gay mum, if it made you feel better I would change the way I was but I can't," I headed towards her, seeking her comforting touch yet all I got was the cold shoulder. "Mum..."

"Get out."

Her voice turned as hard as granite, her expression set into one of annoyance and pure rage. Thinking back to that time, I should have held my head high and ignored her petty tempter tantrum, I should have realized that she never really cared about me, just the family's status in society.

I couldn't help being born into a time where being anything other than straight was frown upon. I had been a foolish boy to have thought that my mother, the most respected woman around would have opened her arms and ushered me in with a soft kiss on the cheek and a 'everything's going to be okay' whisper.

Instead of holding my own, I numbly got up from my spot on the bed and sniffled back a sob. "Mum please forgive me."

For a long moment we did nothing but stare at each other, the old grandfather clock ticking steadily in the hallway reaching our ears. She had began to cry silently though I wasn't sure whether it was because she was ashamed or disgusted.

Despite her harsh words, I couldn't help but reach for her, wanting to brush her tears away and to tell her that she didn't have to worry about anything; that I wasn't about tell another soul about my sexual preference.

However, when I did reach for her, she shrunk back as if I was on fire. "Don't touch me," She practically growled. "Don't you dare touch me, I do not wish to catch your disease!"

I blanched at her words then and for the first time in a year, I felt the need to go find my razor blade. Taking a shaky, reassuring breath, I swallowed back another plea and then headed past her, the scent of her perfume wafting over me yet it did little to quench the pain in my chest.

That day I stayed locked in my room, the sound of my mother's disappointed sobs drowned out by my own woeful cries.


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