19. Joey +- Learning to Trust in You [Part One]

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‘Mmhm,’ I agreed absently, buttering my toast lightly. Then I smiled. 

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I was still munch on toast when I slung my bag onto my back and waved my mum goodbye, before rushing out of the house. It was strange, after talking to her, rather than being scared about going to school and what would follow, I was strangely excited for it. I guess it was a morbid interest; I wanted to know what would happen and what people would say to me. Not to mention seeing Freddie. 

That thought put a smile on my face as I neared where I was meeting Kelsey and saw her waiting for me. 

‘Kelsey!’ When she turned to me and waved I quickened my pace until I reached her, then hugged her tight. She laughed as we pulled away and began to walk. 

‘So, you scared?’ 

‘Surprisingly?’ I said. ‘No. I’m pretty excited. I’m kinda interested to see the hate that’s going to come my way I guess.’ Kelsey eyed me with a grin. 

‘Really? Not even a little?’

‘Nope,’ I popped my lips on the “p”. ‘Besides, I’m excited to see Freddie.’ 

‘Yeah, bet you are.’ I peered at her, face on fire, shoving my hands in my pockets. ‘So what’s the deal with you two?’ 

 ‘What do you mean?’ 

Kelsey looked at me, her long dark chocolate hair sent flying in the wind. ‘You know exactly what I mean!’ 

‘Eh... No...’ I delayed my reply. She couldn’t know. Surely. 

With a roll of her eyes she answered, ‘What are you? Are the rumours true?’ 

‘Oh!’ I let out a relieved breath. ‘All depends on what the rumour are, but, um, he asked me to be his boyfriend yesterday. After you came round actually.’ 

‘Really? Sweet! Text?’ 

‘No, I saw him.’ Kelsey looked confused. 

‘So... Webcam?’ 

‘No! Idiot,’ I joked, ‘He came over to my house. Twice actually.’ I blushed. ‘It was nice.’ 

My new- or old- friend’s brows rose and she nodded. ‘Nice. So you’re mum met him?’ 

‘Yeah she loves him,’ I laughed. 

‘I guess there’ll be some K-I-S-S-ing after all? I kinda set you guys up!’ then she started laughing. It was in her obnoxious way. As nice as she suddenly was, Kelsey was still slightly annoying. 

I elbowed her in the ribs softly. ‘What were the rumours?’ Kelsey shrugged. 

‘The usual shit; you were a closet gay all along and got with Courtney –who’s known for sleeping around a little, let’s face it- to get people off your back. Then when you had the chance to hang out with Freddie, the most well-known gay in the school, just about, you basically jumped for it and you two became fuck buddies.’ 

‘Shit.’ 

‘I know,’ Kelsey grinned. ‘Awesome.’ 

I frowned, ‘No it’s not, it sounds believable.’ 

‘It was, but I still wasn’t sold until I saw the photo to be honest.’ 

‘Photo?’ I turned to Kelsey, face paling as I stood, feet suddenly rooted to the spot.

‘You...’ she paused. ‘You didn’t know?’ 

‘I don’t know anything!’

Kelsey frowned and began to get her phone out just as mine started to ring. Ryan’s face grinned up at me, showing that he was the one calling; this was about that time that we met up. Me and Kelsey had left early. Before I could really react Kelsey was shoving her phone in my face and all thoughts related to Ryan dissolved. 

Saturday. It was me and Freddie hugging on Saturday in front of the cafe he worked at. Though you could only see the back of me, I think you could tell who I was. Freddie’s eyes were closed and he was leaning as much into the hug as he could. His arms were right around me and we were so close... Just seeing the picture made me ache for a repeat experience. I couldn’t help wondering who’d taken it. 

Sherry popped into mind though. Or Lowood. 

Fuck. Coupled with this of course the rumours would sound true. I sounded like a dick, and people from now on would just see me with Freddie and think they knew everything. They’d just fucking judge on sight. 

I hated that. I didn’t want them to judge me. But they would. Each and everyone. My skin already itched   from the imaginary looks I saw myself getting. My cheeks burned and my eyes began to sting. Here came the fear. There is was. It was overwhelming. 

‘Joey.'

‘Mm,’ was all I could answer. I could feel tears brimming as I turned to Kelsey. She held out her hands to me with an her expression and I fell desperately into the hug. It was exactly what I needed . Thing was, it wasn’t from the right person. But I fucking loved Kelsey for trying.

The vibration of my phone in my hand caused us to pull away slightly. I thought it’d be Ryan but it wasn’t. It was my boyfriend. 

‘Will you wait for me at the school gates? x (:’

I don’t think I’ve ever smiled to wide in my life.

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Heh. Thank all you fans for your unbelievable support! It honestly means so much to my lazy, much too busy self. Bye! :'^)

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