Really just a pretty student?

Chapter 10

So now there's two secrets to keep. One too much, don't you think? --A

Deep down, Aria knew what 'A' meant with that. But she refused to admit it, even to herself. Because if she did, there was no going back. From that moment on, she couldn't deny it anymore. It was Sunday morning and as it was their first Sunday back on which they didn't have to unpack thousands of boxes, and opposite to the day before, the sun was shining brightly, their whole family would go to a restaurant for lunch. Aria knew it was coming and she had hoped that by staying home Saturday she could get out of it, but luck seemed to be against her once again. Like it always was, somehow. 'A' was on her now. And she (by now she was almost sure it was a her. No boy could be such a bitch) would inevitably make her choose. Either her father's or her secret came out. And right at the moment she couldn't imagine what would be worse. Aria had to tell. One or the other. Because if she didn't, 'A' would. One, if she was lucky. None, of she was even more lucky and it we're all just empty threats. But with her record lately, it was even more likely 'A' would tell both. And that, she couldn't let happen. She signed and turned back to her work. She had picked up writing again, the first time since she came back. Which was only a week, but usually there passed hardly a day without Aria at least writing into her diary. With recent events she started wondering if it really was such a good idea though. There was always the risk of the diary being found and there was no doubt that if it was, 'A' would somehow come to possession of it. And then, there would be proof. And, if there were things, 'A' for some reason didn't know, well, then she would. The problem was she had no one to talk to. She just couldn't tell her friends, about either of it. Writing it down always seemed to help her with her worries. But now... it wasn't safe anymore. She had no outlet for her feelings anymore. And only time could tell what that would do to her. Aria preferred never having to find out. But life obviously didn't care. She started thinking again. Maybe she could invent some sort of code? No. There was no way she would be able to remember everything, so she would have to write it down as well. Not an option. She couldn't record it in any way, she couldn't write it. She also couldn't talk to herself. It would raise too many questions. Aside from that, 'A' had eyes and ears everywhere. She could confide in someone. But who? And even more important, where was the guarantee 'A' wouldn't spy on her while talking to someone else? Right, it didn't exist. It was hopeless. Besides, it was probably senseless anyways. 'A' already knew everything. So who was to say she didn't have evidence as well? She pretty surely had.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! Ezra slammed his hands on his desk and then turned around to get a new cup of coffee for the n teenth time in the last few hours. He had things, work to do, but all he could think about was Aria. He had had a sleepless night, always tossing and turning, wondering about her. What she was doing, if she was thinking about him. When he woke up this morning, a migraine already arriving, he had downed some aspirin and then tried to prepare tomorrow's lesson. With not much success. He couldn't concentrate. And the more it went on, the more annoyed he got. And angry at himself and also Aria, even though it wasn't her fault. It was just easier to blame her. She shouldn't have pushed. She should've just let it go. And he was distracted again. He went back to his desk, a full cup of not so hot coffee in his hand and forced himself to focus. It had already taken home more than twice as long to just come up with a rough plan than it normally took him to prepare the full lesson. Okay, so maybe he should just give them a writing assignment or some discussion in groups when his only task was to be present in the classroom. It would be a solution. But only for this one time. And he still had get something done. A writing assignment had to be corrected. A surprise test as well. He had a job to do. And with a job there came work. He got more and more angry. Maybe Aria was to blame for some of it. But it was not her problem or fault, if he couldn't think straight anymore. He wasn't stupid. She probably wasn't sitting at home, thinking about him and therefore not getting her homework done. Sighing he looked at the clock. Another five minutes had passed with him brooding about things he couldn't change instead of actually doing something. A writing assignment it would be. And he had to talk to Aria. Or had he? He knew it was no option to go back to ignoring her. Still... He was pretty sure he could control his feelings. At least to a certain extent. Meaning, if she rejected him, if it all was just a big joke for her, he wouldn't be able to hide his hurt. Also, if she pursued him again, he didn't think he would be able to resist. Be couldn't at the cinema. Or in the car. Maybe he should wait until she came to him. Bit what if she never did? They needed to sort things out. And there was this little detail of her knowing way more about him than anybody else. Why did he tell her again? Oh right. He just did. Without thinking, without considering any possible consequences. Who was to say she would keep it to herself? True she had promised and she didn't seem like one to break her promises, but he wasn't sure he could really judge her from his perspective. He had already misjudged once. And h wasn't keen on repeating that mistake. Unfortunately, it looked like he already was on the best way to do so.

A/N: Thank You for 100 reads!