Chapter 21

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hold my hand when the lights go down

 and you're feeling scared but no one understands 

(Bailey's wolf above)


The wind was running through my fur, a chill running down my spine. It had gotten colder out since yesterday and it smelled like it was going to rain or snow soon. I was running so fast the trees and flowers and grass were all a blur. Before I knew it, I was by the river that separates Chance and Brandon's pack. My wolf was complaining about how her paws were beginning to get sore from all the running I was making her do so, I stopped at the river. I drank a little from the river and then sat down, admiring the scenery before me. I wish I had my camera or sketch book with me so I could capture this image somehow. I never have time anymore to draw or take pictures and I wish I did. It was my therapy after what Carter did to me. Now, I just feel lost again.

Why did you go on a run without me? I woke you up so that we could go together.

Chance's wolf suddenly appeared in front of me. He was taller than me. I moved my head to the side, feeling sort of angry at him. He tilted his head. Are you mad at me? I'm sorry for waking you up. Just wanted to spend some alone time with my mate.

I growled because fuck, I'm so angry. I looked at Chance and snapped my teeth at him. He gave me a weird look and then was shifting back. I looked away, not wanting to see him naked. I heard some rustling and when I looked again, he was wearing a pair of shorts. He threw me a t-shirt and shorts and told me to shift. I growled, putting the clothes in my mouth and trotting over to a large tree. I shifted back and quickly dressed. When I came out from behind the tree, Chance was sitting by the river with his feet dangling in.

"Are you going to tell me why you're angry? Or are you going to growl and snap your teeth at me? What did I do this time?"

I huffed and sat down, sitting with a few feet in between us. "Do you want to know what's wrong? It's that you're a liar."

His head moved quickly, eyes on me. "I'm a liar, how?"

I started plucking the grass and throwing it into the river. "You are never honest with me."

Something flashed in his eyes and he shook his head. "I'm always honest with you, about everything."

"You love me."

Chance turned away from me and sighed. "What?"

I nodded. "You aren't ever honest with me. You are in love with me, aren't you?"

Chance looked at me and moved closer. "This is why you're mad at me?"

I stood up and growled. "Yes! You can't be in love with someone like me!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm me, Chance! I'm me! I'm broken and confused and damaged. You can't love me."

Chance stood up and was so close to me I thought he was going to kiss me. "You ruin everything. I had this special dinner and everything where I was going to tell you everything."

I turned away, my heart breaking. "Cancel it."


"Cancel it. Everything you have planned, cancel it. I don't love you, Chance. You fell in love with someone who is incapable of loving anyone. I don't love you and I never will."

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