In His Eyes

Chapter 6

For scomicheslays

"Scott?" I woke up with a start. I hissed at the pain in my back. I didn't know about that. I turned to where Scott was supposed to be sleeping next you me. He was no where to be seen. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed quickly. I walked out of my room with a little limp. I would have to find a way to cover that up. My parents could never find out about this. At least not yet. They would say it was a distraction from my music. That sex is what I would always be thinking about.

"Good morning, Mitch." My dad said to me from behind his paper. I noticed Scott at the kitchen table next to him. He didn't say anything to me and pushed his food around his plate. I sat down at my chair, my wince being covered up by me coughing. I tried to see into what Scott was thinking. I frowned. I couldn't feel him even blocking me. In fact, I couldn't even see through him. No emotions. No pain. Everything was blank. I felt myself panicking as I stared at Scott. Usually, he would feel my worries and he would look up. He would cast me a reassuring smile. It never happened.

"Scott? I need to talk you." He didn't move. "Now!" He finally snapped out of his daze. He slowly followed after me as I made my way gently up the steps. That pain was annoying. "Tell me what I'm feeling!" I yelled as soon as my bedroom door shut behind us. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Why?"

"Take this seriously! Do something! Anything! Read my thoughts!" I was frantic. He focused for a little bit before sighing loudly.

"I can't." I waited for that to soak in. His eyes widened. "I can't. I can't feel anything. I can't see anything." I reached forward to touch his cheek. I still felt the spark when my skin brushed against his. So my feelings didn't change. But what about him?

"Scott, how do you feel....about me?"

"I still love you but...." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I made a mistake last night, Mitch. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you. If I hadn't done that, there wouldn't be the possibility of danger."

"What are you talking about? Scott, you sound fucking insane." I was watching him carefully now. He sat down on my bed. His head was fallen in his hands and I heard a quiet sniffle. He was crying. It didn't take convenient mind powers to know that.

"I'm sick, Mitch." He said it without looking at me. I stood, frozen in disbelief.

"What do you mean 'sick'?" His fingers were nervously combing through his hair. He was nervous. It suddenly turned to rage.

"What the fuck do you think I mean?! I'm fucking dying!" His voice range into the growing silence. I could feel my heart beginning to shatter. I just got him. I just had the most perfect man here in front of me and he was dying. He was going to leave me. I tried to find a way to help him.

"Maybe I can help. We can get you medicine and the hospital can take care of you. I'll take care of you." He shook his head.

"I'm a goner. And I don't want to be hooked up to machines." God, I wish I could read his mind. But everything was gone.

"What do you have?"

"AIDS." He whispered. I covered my mouth. No. He couldn't- He wouldn't have- He can't- My brain was telling me all these different questions, scenarios, and reasons.

"How?"

"You name. Needles, unprotected sex. I went through all of that. I just....I thought I was clean. I thought that I would somehow survive it because I had someone to love for. To live for." He shook his head, more sobs coming from his body. "It wasn't even my choice. Nothing was truly ever my choice. Except to taint you. I could have sealed your death."

"Scott, please don't cry." I came forward to comfort him. His arms wrapped around my torso and pulled me closer. He cried into my stomach. I could only pat his head. I was scared. Not really for myself but for Scott. He was dying. And he would reject everything I would do to help him. He would reject anyone's help. That's the type of person he's become. Then I accidentally said something that pissed him off. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Nothing is going to be okay! I can't do this anymore!" He pushed me out of the way and ran out the door. I made no attempt to follow him. That was my mistake.

Because that conversation happened two weeks ago. I haven't seen Scott since. He was just gone. He was sick. I told my parents that he had gone home. I didn't tell them the truth. But I would have to eventually. I was under eighteen and I needed my parents permission for the test I would take. I was playing with my food when my mom noticed something was up.

"Sweetheart, I know you're worried about Scott going home but I bet he'll be okay. Just check through your little mind thingy together." She said all this to be helpful. It made me feel worse though.

"I can't. Our connection was broken ever since we...." I stopped, glancing at both of them. "Since we had sex." My mom's silverware clattered against her plate. My dad was staring at me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"And you brought this up because?" He was the first one to say something. I looked down at my lap.

"Well, Scott didn't go home. He ran away because after we had sex, I said everything would be okay when he told me he was sick-"

"Sick with what?" My mom snapped. I slowly met her gaze.

"I need to go to the doctor."

"Mitch! This is exactly why I didn't want you to have sex!" She was furious the rest of the day. Even when we went to the doctor and they said I was okay. Just that I needed a checkup at the end of the year. I sat quietly in the car as we drove home. I looked at the people without homes living on the streets. I wonder where Scott was.

"I pressured him." I said. My parents showed their interest from the front seat. "Scott didn't want to. But I kind of made it the only option."

"He's a good kid, Mitch." That was my dad.

"We just need to find the poor boy." My mom was glancing around too. She and my father held hands. I turned my attention back out the window. To where it started raining.

"Where are you, Scott?"