Chapter 11

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I'm going to be dozing off in English class tomorrow BUT FOR YOU GUYS what is sleep so appreciate and enjoy thenkkkkk

As more competitions were coming, Yuzu was training much harder.

One time, when his asthma acted up again, he begged Brian, while in the car, to go to the hospital further away.

Just in case.

And he felt guilty.

He hadn't texted her much in the past few weeks.

She initially texted him, things like how are you and what homework do you have, but he couldn't reply due to trainings and competitions. Sometimes, he would be in other countries competing, completely absorbed in competition, he didn't realize that she had sent him a message until two days later.

He was in China, for the Cup of China.

He did pretty well for the short programme, and nearly wanted to text Em about his happiness.

But he couldn't.

Today was his Free.

I swear, I'll text her after this, he promised himself.

Not going to let her down again.

He stretched near the backstage, his earphones playing a pumped up pop song, making him fee like he was about to explode with all the nerves he had.

"Warm up group 3, please standby at rink side," the woman called.

He stood up, together with some of his competitors. He didn't know who they were, because he had to only focus on himself.

You're here to win.

The beep of his hand phone distracted him, and he looked at the new message.

Em: I'm really sorry for bothering you.

He wanted to type a reply, telling her that no, you're not bothering me, I treasure your messages, but the woman ushered him towards the rink side, tutting at how slow he was.

Brian said something to him, and he didn't really notice. Before he knew it, he was on ice, and he was doing the warm up."

"And number 4, representing Japan, Yuzuru Hanyu," the announcer said loudly.

The crowd went wild, and he bowed slightly, taking off his jacket.

He didn't understand why people treated him like a celebrity.

He was just an athlete.

Nevertheless, he appreciated the support.

I'm skating Phantom today.

I'm sorry for bothering you.



If I win, I'll tell her everything, I swear I will tell her everything.


He turned, running through his programme, but he saw the approaching skater, and time seemed to slow down, but he couldn't dodge in time.

He remembered the impact. The feeling of being hit so hard, flying through the air, then landing on the solid hard ice.

Everything hurt.

Everything hurt, and he didn't register a single thing.

When his vision cleared, he was curled up in a ball, in too much pain to scream and shout for help.


He turned around on his back, his chest getting tighter, and it was hard to breathe.

But you have to win this for her. To tell the truth.

In, out. He tried regulating his breaths, and ignoring how much pain he was in.

Three figures loomed above him, asking questions in Chinese, and he was so confused and tired.

But he got up.

He had to perform.

Swiping at his chin, he found blood oozing down his throat, and the side of his head throbbed.

His legs, too.

Everything passed by in a blur, as he was pushed into backstage and being thrown everywhere, the medical crew hovering over him like bees, buzzing around with wraps and bandages and plasters.

"We'll send him to a hospital and withdraw," he heard Brian say, immediately clearing all the fog in his mind.

He couldn't quit.

Not now.

Just not now.

"No, I want to compete," he argued, a little dazed from the concussion.

"Look at you, how are you going to compete--" Brian shot back, gesturing to the big bandage on his head.

"I have to, please, just please," Yuzuru begged.


Bam. He fell again, and damn, it hurt.

It wasn't as if he didn't try to hold his landings, his ankle hurt so much upon landing that his leg would give way and he would topple over.

He even felt like giving up.

The spins made him nauseated, more dizzy then before.

But still, he poured effort and emotion into the performance.

I have to win.

He finished in his last pose, sweaty and tired and cold and dizzy

But he did the programme.

Not good, but he did it.

During the kiss and cry, Brian talked to him, about doctors and things, and everything still hurt, but he didn't care.

And the results came.

He was in first place.

And everything broke down from there.

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