Chapter 73

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Alexandria's POV

He said he missed me. I wasn't expecting him to say it but he did and I felt like crying. He missed me and before I knew what I was doing I blurted out that I missed him. It was the truth, I did miss him, I missed him so much. I was looking at him wondering if we he was going to say anything else when the doorbell rang, interrupting us.

I watched him leave the room to get the door, all of my unanswered questions still hanging in the air. Were we ever going to talk? Would we sort this out? Because regardless of what Karen said, I wasn't ready to let this go. I wasn't ready to let Matt go.

"Look who's here." Matt mumbled, walking back in, followed closely by Zack and Sarah, amd I was silently glad he looked as pissed as I felt.

"You're cooking." Zack said smiling, walking over and hugging me.

"Are you hungry?" I asked and he nodded.

"He's always hungry." Sarah told me, smiling.

"Why don't you and Matt go outside." I told him. "And I'll bring it out when it's ready."

"Good idea." Zack said, heading for the back door.

"The eggs." Matt said softly.

"I'll finish them." I told him. "Go."

He shrugged and followed Zack out the back and I turned back to the stove.

"So." Sarah said, suddenly appearing at my side. "What is Matt doing here?"

I shrugged, grabbing some plates and handing them to her. "He came over last night." I told her. "Take these out."

"And?" She asked.

"And nothing." I mumbled. "Take them out."

"Don't avoid me." She muttered, grabbing the plates and walking out.

I groaned. How could I explain that I wasn't avoiding her, I just had absolutely nothing to tell her.

I piled the food onto a couple of plates and carried it out the back. The three of them were sitting there, talking and they all looked up as I walked out.

Matt smiled as I sat down next to him, then we both watched as Zack grabbed a bit of everything and started shoving it down his throat.

"Don't you feed him?" Matt asked Sarah, smiling.

"Of course I do." Sarah mumbled, throwing Zack a look of disgust.

We were all silent for awhile, each of us eating, well I was picking, I wasn't really hungry and I guess I hadn't been since Matt and I had broken up.

"I've got to go out, run a couple of errands." Zack said. "Want to come?" I looked up to see he was talking to Matt.

"Like what?" Matt asked, taking a mouthful of coffee.

"Wedding stuff." Zack mumbled, glancing at Sarah, who was sitting there frowning.

"I guess." Matt said and I put my fork down, sighing quietly.

I was disappointed. Now Matt was going out with Zack and we wouldn't get a chance to talk again. Maybe this was a sign form somewhere that we weren't meant to be. I just didn't know.

"Let me clean up first." Matt said, standing up.

"It's fine." I said softly. "I'll do it."

"I don't mind." He said.

"Just go." I said standing up. It came out a bit harsh. I didn't mean it to sound snappy, but it did.

"Well let's go." Zack said, standing up and planting a kiss on Sarah's forehead. "See you when we get back." She just nodded.

"Okay well see you soon." Matt said looking at me and I half smiled nodding, secretly hoping that I would see him soon, alone.

"So." Sarah said, helping carry the dirty plates inside. "What's going on?"

"No." I said. "What is with Zack?" I asked her, stacking the dishwasher.

"He's acting weird." She mumbled. "I don't want to talk about it." She grabbed my hand, pulling me into the living room. "I want to talk about you, you and Matt."

"There is no me and Matt." I murmured.

"You didn't sort it out?"

I shook my head and felt a tear run down my cheek.

"Oh Alex." Sarah whispered, pulling me into her arm's. "It will be okay."

"Will it?" I sobbed. "Karen thinks maybe it's time I let things go, but I'm not ready, I don't think I can let him go."

"Of course not." She whispered, hugging me. "Of course you can't let it go."

"I don't know." I cried, sitting up and wiping my face. "Maybe I should, but I can't, I just can't. I love him, I'll always love him, he taught me so much Sarah." And I started sobbing again.

"He did." She agreed quietly.

"He taught me love." And just that thought made me cry harder, because he did, he did teach me love, he taught me what it was like to be loved and what it was like to love. "And I love him, I really do."

"I know." She whispered, pulling back into a hug. "I know he did and he love's you Alex, I'm sure of it. You will work this out, I know you will but it might take time, and that's okay, you have time."

I nodded, she was right, I had nothing but time these day's and if Matt needed time then I would gladly give it to him.

"Oh and I'm not doing a Lola and swapping my wedding party around." She said. "You will still be partnered with Matt whether you like it or not."

I smiled. "Don't worry, I like it." I told her. "Hopefully he will too."

"He will."

I sat back, staring at the wall, thinking. "Is he brining a date?" I asked softly, scared of the answer.

"No he is not." She told me. "He hasn't mentioned it and besides I wouldn't let him."

I sighed, I hoped he wasn't considering bringing a date, I wanted to be his date, I just wanted to be his everything.

Matt was my everything, but was I his everything? I really hoped so.


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