Go check out my new story, It Could be Different! It is a Harry AU, but Zayn is in it! :)

Sorry this is a couple days late. I was trying to edit and all that good stuff. But just haven't had time so, no this is not edited.

Im also going back and editing previous chapters. Like all of them, cause apparently I don't know the damn difference between are and our (which I actually do!). This is what happens when you hastily write and never edit.

Goals: 68 votes, 25 comments.

I quietly make my way to the kitchen. I haven't ate anything since yesterday so I'm forcing myself to eat something now. I wont go back down that road. I'm not going back down any of the roads I've previously been on.

It's late and since I'm suppose to stay awake Zayn has been keeping me company. Only problem is that he started falling asleep on me so I basically had to beg him to go to bed. I didn't want him too but I also felt bad. None of this is his mess and I dragged him into it.

I open the door to my parent's fridge and the light brightens the area. I scan over all my options before deciding to just eat an orange and some yogurt. I grab my yogurt and turn around so I can grab my orange. I'm caught off gaurd when I see Ryan standing a few feet away from me. I drop my yogurt from the small fright he gave me. It opens from the impact and splatters all over.

"Sorry," he tells me. He grabs the roll of paper towls and walks over to me before handing them to me.

"It's fine," I mumble awkwardly.

"I was kind of hoping we could talk?" he asks me but I stay silent while I wipe up the mess.

When we got home from the hospital I wasn't really up for any talking. Zayn and I went to check out of the hotel we were staying at when we got back I told my family that I didn't want to talk and we could do it tomorrow sometime. I guess Ryan just couldn't wait.

I stand back up and throw away whats left of the yogurt and the paper towels I used. I then face Ryan who has an expression of guilt.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"I hope you don't hate me," are the first words out of his mouth. "I screwed up, big time. I was your big brother, I was suppose to protect you."

"You did all you could Ryan," I sigh. It does hurt that he abandoned me like he did but I don't blame him. I was a wreck and my parents were so deadset on me making it all up.

"No I didn't. I broke under all the pressure, from our parents to the police. After a while of everyone saying it never happened, that he would never do such a thing. I began second guessing everything, even if I witnessed what happened or I saw all the bruises and signs. I was literally going insane and in order to save myself I hurt and betrayed you."

"It's fine Ryan," I assure him. "I got over it eventually, not just about you leaving but everything. I got over it. It's no use in digging up old bones."

"But they're not old bones and you're not over it," he states and I frown.


"Madison I'm you're older brother, we used to be really close. I know you. When Zayn came to the hospital today and you broke down in tears, it was obvious that the damage never healed. You used to starve yourself and have horrible nightmares. And if I know you like I think you do, I'd say none of those things ever went away either."

"They did to."

"And for how long? A night? Maybe a week? Who knows maybe even a month? You felt like you could conquer the world then it all came spiralling down again. Am I correct?"

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