Chapter 15 - Confusion

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|| Illusion ||

 Chapter 15 - Confusion

They had port-keyed back home as soon as Draco and Hermione returned from their walk. Nick had been holding a small bucket filled with various sea shells that he wanted to take back home. Upon arriving, Hermione told Nick to take a bath and he was asleep soon afterwards, obviously exhausted from the big day. Draco had locked himself up in his office and had not come out since. He needed time to think about the situation that had occurred on the lookout tower.

Hermione lay in bed, staring at the roof. She could not get the kiss out of her mind. It had blown her away. Never had she thought that Malfoy could make her feel this way. She hadn't had many kisses in her lifetime, but there was something definitely different about this one. Kissing, to Hermione, had always been slightly repulsive. To her there was nothing appealing about sharing someone else's saliva and having their tongue slipped down your throat. But the way Draco had kissed her...it had left her lightheaded, exhilarated and longing for more.

But she was not supposed to feel this way about him.

He was the guy that had raped her. He may have given her the best thing in the world but that didn't change the kind of person that he was. Knowing him, he might try and use their situation, if something else ever did occur, to his advantage, as he did with every other aspect of his life.

But would it be so wrong to have feelings for him? Would it really be that bad if she fell in love with Nick's father?

Yes.

In the case of Malfoy it was. He would only end up hurting her and she could not bear to deal with that pain.

There was nothing to do but wait and see what he would make of the situation and then if he did try to pursue some kind of relationship between them, which to Hermione were extremely unlikely, she would have to wait and see exactly how honest he was being before agreeing to anything serious. One wrong choice could possibly cost Hermione her son, and she was not prepared to take that risk.

~oOo~

He couldn't get it out of his mind. That damned kiss. He didn't know what in the name of Merlin had possessed him to kiss her, but he had and now didn't know what to make of it. It was different to any other kiss he had shared. It wasn't lust-driven like the rest of them. There had been a certain feeling behind it, one he could not recognise. It left him confused and he just didn't know what to do. But, he was sure of one thing and that was the fact that he wanted to do it again. He wanted to feel her soft lips against his once more. He wanted to be able to taste her again. Just once would never be enough.

But was it right?

He shouldn't be feeling like this. It was Granger after all. She was the bushy haired know-it-all whom he had spent his Hogwarts years envying. She had made his life living hell, whether she was aware of it or not. His father constantly punished him for being behind her in school, for falling behind a Mudblood.

But things weren't the same anymore. They were no longer teenagers fighting for the limelight. No. She was the mother of his son. They lived together and were learning to maintain a little peace.

Would it be so wrong to have feelings for her? Would it really?

Yes.

Yes it definitely would.

Not because of who she was, but because she would instantaneously suspect something. He really couldn't blame her because, after all, he had "raped" her. The thought gave him the chills. He may not have been in his senses at the time but it didn't make a difference. That was all she would see him as. So he would have to wait and see if she were at all comfortable being around him and wait for her to make the first move.

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