Chapter 5 - Taylor

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It was very interesting to watch. It was even more interesting watch Taylor put his arm around me. I went stiff. I didn’t understand any of that, the couple, relationship bull. I didn’t want a boyfriend, not while I was so scattered brained. I didn’t want to try to be someone I wasn’t for another person, and I felt like that’d be the case with Taylor.

He was also a stranger, and how can you have feelings for a stranger? I understand infatuation based on attractiveness, but that would purely be it. I didn’t find him too attractive in truth, I looked at him purely from a friend perspective.

“Thanks for taking me to the movies.” I said as we got in his truck. I expected him to take me home.

“No problem, I’m starving, let’s go grab dinner and talk for a bit.”

“Great,” I said, I thought he’d hear how unconvincing that sounded, but apparently not.  I think he only heard what he wanted.

Taylor took me to an Italian pizzeria, it had creamy colored table clothes, fake flowers and unlit candles in the middle of the table. The walls were covered in photos; I could see Taylor in a few of them.

“Did you enjoy your first movie?” he asked after taking a drink of his Coke.

“I did, it was very fun. Interesting is the right word. Thank you again.”

“No problem, I like being with you on a first.”

For some reason, I felt like that meant something completely different. “So, Taylor,” I said nervously. “H-How did you meet Rachel again?”

“We grew up together. I’ve known her forever. How have you been adjusting to the town?”

“I haven’t.” I fidgeted nervously with my fingers. “It’s really hard. I don’t really understand relationships here. I’m still the odd pale girl. It’s not very good right now.”

‘I’m sorry,” he frowned. “That sounds awful.”

“It is, I hopefully will get along soon.”

“Sooner than you think.” He smiled in a way that made me so nervous again. A very large cheese pizza arrived. My diet was so different back home. We ate quickly, but it was dark out by the time we got out of the restaurant. “Want to go for a walk?”

“Um,”

‘Come on Finley,” he smiled. He nudged me, and started walking.

I sighed, and followed him. I watched him fidget for a bit, he had something in his hands. I turned the other way for a moment, looking around. When I came back it looked like he swallowed something, I was terrified it was some kind of breath mint. I didn’t want any moves to be made on me. I didn’t want him to be my first kiss.

I was never one of those girls who thought too much about her first kiss. Now that I was in an environment that was so focused on who was kissing, who wasn’t, who was having sex, media depictions of sexuality, it crossed my mind. I wanted it to be with someone I felt comfortable messing it up in front of, because that’d surely happen. I wanted them to give me a nervous feeling, and make me giggle. I needed to be completely comfortable, and I didn’t feel that with him by any means.

We roamed the streets; he enjoyed speaking of his accomplishments. We were at a park, just off the busy streets. It was dark, no one was really around. I was sitting on a swing, playing with my fingers.

“Finley?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you so quiet?”

“I don’t have much to say.”

He smiled. “That’s different compared to most of the girls here.”

“Well,” I just shrugged, unsure of how to reply to that. He got up and stood behind me, catching the chain to the swing I was on. “What are you doing?” I asked as he stopped me with ease. I felt his body against me. I was so uncomfortable.

“Nothing,” he said in my ear, gently biting it. I jumped up, he laughed. “I take it they don’t do that in Antarctica.”

“N-Not at all. I-I think you should take me home.”

“Hey, hey,” he smiled warmly, so kindly. His eyes looked off, his pupils were so big, massive, and his eyes even looked a bit red. It freaked me out. He came over and put his hands on my shoulders. “I think you’re a beautiful girl, have I ever mentioned that?” I froze. “I didn’t think I did.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. I nearly flinched at his touch. “Finley, I think we’d be great together. It seems like you have a lot of… experiences to have, I’d love to help you reach them.” He leaned down, and almost kissed me. I covered my mouth, making his wet lips kiss my hand. “Why are you being like this? I’ve been nothing but a nice guy to you. I bought you dinner, come on,” he pulled one arm off. I threw the other one over my mouth. “You are such a tease.”

“A-Am not.” I said, so shocked. I spun out of the swing, walking backwards.

He looked so mad. “Girls do not reject me. I own this town. Do you get that?  I own it. Now, you’re lucky that I want you, so take your hand off your fucking mouth-“

He pinned both my arms to my sides. I was so shocked. I just froze. I couldn’t even… I could barely breathe. He was leaning toward my mouth.

“Stop,” I choked. He kissed my neck, his teeth grazing me, I was shaking. I couldn’t feel my legs. I wanted it all to stop. “S-Stop,” I whispered again, I couldn’t find my voice.

“You don’t want that. You’re just nervous.”

He was going toward my mouth. I stumbled back, tripping on a park bench. He sighed, and started towering over me, about to sit on my torso to pin me down. I heard someone laying on their car horn, head lights were blinding. “Fuck,” he whispered, jumping up he took off. I hadn’t realized I was crying, every inch of me trembling. I choked, wiping my eyes with the back of my sleeves. I rubbed the back of my head, hitting it when I fell. I felt so dizzy.

I saw a figure in the blinding light, but couldn’t see much else.

“No,” I whispered, feeling someone pick me up. I only remember one thing before I fainted, this person smelled like fresh lilacs.

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