From first glance, one would say that you looked happy, radiant even. I look at you; a smile playing on your lips, hair straightened, shoes perfectly paired to accent your outfit, makeup done to perfection. You've rehearsed every comment and reply that you make during a conversation. You know exactly what to say, when to say it and how to say it. You have a way of making people believe your words. No one doubts that you're telling the truth when you speak. But I've got news for you, sweetheart: You aren't fooling me.
You may be smiling and talking like you're ok, but I see how you look at those other girls. As if you're upset that they're pretty...jealous even at times. And then I notice you looking at that guy across the cafeteria. Your eyes light up at the sight of him. You fix your hair and look away when you two make eye contact, hoping he didn't notice you staring.
That's when it hit me. They way you look at those girls, it's because you're insecure. You think that they can easily take him away from you because he's been with a few of them. A lot of then really. You guys are in a "relationship" yet he never acts as if you are. sure he kisses you everyday, but where's the signs that he cares? Where's the times when he's willing to just listen to you talk, have a nice conversation? He has a reputation. He isn't the type to be in a long lasting relationship. He drains girls and dumps them without any second thoughts. He lies and says he loves you, and you believe it like all the others. And for that reason, you're scared. You're afraid you might lose him.He's made you go crazy with the thought that you aren't enough for him.
That fake smile you wear everyday is because of HIM. HE stripped you of any feeling of love and security when he harshly broke up with you only to get with your best friend countless times. HE'S the reason that you're so broken. Yet you still chase after him. You still forgive him because you swear to me that you love him. But we're only kids, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, hun. We don't know what love is yet.
HE turned you into this...this girl that no one recognizes. You may be "done with", but not for good. He's toying with your heart and advancing on you. He's walking all over you and you're letting him.
I desperately wanna fill you in about the things he's doing, but I decide against it. You have to learn on your own. You'll figure it out soon enough. I'm just praying that you aren't so broken when that time comes.
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Thank you or reading! Tell me what you think :)
~TJ
