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Pen Your Pride

Note: I double posted so make sure you read the chapter before it!!! They have to be read together for the full effect! ^_^


I watched the little kids run out of their classrooms as I made my way back home from the last day of school. A year had went by, slow and suffocating as each day passed, but when I turned around, it had come and gone. Summer was already here and it was only a matter of time before the sun would blaze heatedly again. It would replay and remind me of the tragic tale that won’t fade from my mind no matter how hard I try.

A red helium balloon escaped from a young girl’s hands. “My balloon,” she cried. “Mommy, my balloon!”

I ran out into the middle of the highway and jumped up, just managing to grab the tail of the balloon’s string. Cars honked and screeched, breaking into a stop. Two cars sandwiched me, both barely missing my body. I squeezed out of the crack ignoring their curses and made my way back to the little girl. “Your balloon,” I said. “If you love it, don’t ever let it go.”

The mother gazed at me shocked with a hint of anger on her face. “Are you out of your mind?” She yelled. “You could have died!”

“I can’t,” I replied. “There’s a really mean boy in Heaven that won’t let me meet up with him.”

It was true because I didn’t know how else I’d explain it. Death was such a funny thing. One minute Ryan was right there beside me and the next he wasn’t. Time just passed by, and I’d wake up every morning, eat breakfast and expect him to casually pop by my house. Only I’d just sit there at the breakfast table and wait until night came, hoping to hear the sound of his beat up car.

Any minute now. He’s going to be here any minute now.


Sometimes I would see his shadow pass by from the corner of my eyes and I’d spin around, my heart beating violently. But he was never there. Every time I heard his name, I would turn and look, knowing very well it wasn’t him. He was gone yet his every smile, every laugh, and every kiss was vivid in my mind. It was unbearable and went on until it drove me insane, like an endless game of hide n’ seek with only one player.

I remember gathering my courage to go see Ryan, a month after he passed away. I went up to Crescent View Hill, to a bridge that linked two parts of the cliff together; there was nothing there except a deep fall into the thunderous water below. I was trying to climb over the bridge’s wooden rails when something knocked me back down and when I opened my eyes, white feathers were falling all around me like falling snowflakes. There were hundreds of doves that had suddenly flown up from under the bridge. One by one, they took a place along the rails of the bridge, making it impossible for me to climb over and jump.

From then on, I knew he had become my guardian angel. He was there when I needed someone to listen, there protecting me, making sure I was safe and there to hold my sky up when my world was crashing down. 

One white dove had followed me back home from that incident and although it flew away sometimes, it always came back and I always knew it was the same one. Sometimes it would wake me up at 3am, knocking on my window with its beak. Sometimes it would sing, chirping a love song to me in a different language. Sometimes it would crawl under my bed sheets even though I didn’t like it, but it would always get its way, just like he always did.

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